Total Sonic Island
by Project Starvix
Summary: 16 Sonic Characters go to the famed island for a chance to win 100,000 rings. Chris and Chef aren't cutting them any slack because they're celebrities; not when torturing equals better rating. Will anyone survive long enough to win the big prize?
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog, or Total Drama Island.**

* * *

The first thing anyone will see when coming to this famed Island is the Dock of Shame and the Boat of Losers. Standing on the dock was the show's annoying host, Chris.

"Welcome to Total Sonic Island, where 16 contestants from the famed Sonic Series compete for the prize of 100,000 rings. They will face challenges, contests, and each other as they battle it out in the most extreme competition yet," said Chris, a big smile on his face. "I'm your host, and THIS…Is Total Sonic Island!"

(For those of you who are picky about these things, sing the theme song in your head right here.)

The 16 characters arrived on the Boat of Losers and stepped onto the island they would all come to loathe with a vengeance in the next few days. The first to set foot on the island was Sonic the Hedgehog, himself. Then came Amy, Shadow, Knuckles, Silver, Tails, Espio, Vector, and Mario.

"Hey!" Chris called. "This is strictly for SONIC CHARACTERS ONLY. You're not a Sonic character."

"I could-a put on-a my frog suit," Mario suggested.

"Doesn't count, dude."

"But I want-a to win-a the prize-a!" Mario protested.

"Sorry, dude. No Sonic-o, no money-o. Chef!"

Chef appeared with a machete, swinging it at Mario and forcing the plump Italian back on the Boat of Losers, where he rightfully belonged.

"What the heck-a!" were Mario's last words as he unofficially became the first person to be kicked off the island.

After Mario was appropriately 'taken care of', the other eight contestants got off the boat. There was Eggman, Mephiles the Dark, Metal Sonic, Bean the Dynamite, Black Doom, Scourge the Hedgehog, Fang the Sniper, and Ix.

"Ok, you know the rules. You two are divided into two teams. SEGA ordered us to make it Heroes vs Villains, and that's OK by us," Chris told the 16 contestants. "Because emotional conflict makes for killer ratings. Each day you will be issued a challenge the team that loses the challenge will be forced in an elimination round. Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow has to walk the Dock of Shame, get on the Boat of Losers, and leave the island. And you can't come back. Ever. You record your personal thoughts on the competition in the camera room, which also happens to be a toilet. Any questions?" without waiting for an answer, he continued, "Good. Be back here in half an hour for your first challenge."

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Sonic The Hedgehog's POV

Sonic sat down on the toilet, looked up at the camera, and yelped, "Hey!" his fur turning magenta. "A little PRIVACY!" he requested, grabbing the camera and throwing it out of the toilet. The view showed a very large bear sniffing the lens, then start roaring, and then the screen went to static.

Amy Rose's POV

"I've always been really strong. Am I bothered that I'm the only girl in the competition? No. I'll beat them all and get the prize, you just wait and see," Amy said confidently.

Shadow the Hedgehog's POV.

"Humph."

Eggman's POV

"No, I'm not at all ashamed because I'm a villain. It's my life's goal. Besides, do you know how hard it is for an ex-member of the My Little Pony Princess Fun Run Club to get a job?"

Tails' POV

"You know, I don't think this is at all sanitary. I could upgrade this place for you if you want," The fox kit was looking off screen, apparently talking to someone. After a pause he nodded. "Oh, don't want it, huh? That's OK."

Knuckles' POV

"No, I don't want to be here. I never wanted to be here. I should be on Angel Island guarding the Master Emerald, but noooo… 'come have a good time, Knuckles,' 'Don't be such a spoilsport Knuckles'…" The echidna slammed his fist against the wall and yelled, "I'M GONNA KILL SONIC!"

Black Doom's POV

"Being betrayed by my own son hurts a bit," the evil alien admitted. "I know a lot of you might think he's not, but Shadow was created with MY DNA…so I am very much his daddy. But when the chips are down, what does he do? Sides with the human race because of some bratty little girl that's not even alive anymore! So yes, I may have gone into a rousing bout of depression afterwards. But I'm sure once I blow Shadow's head off in this competition for his betrayal, I'll feel much better."

Espio's POV

"It is not my concern over who wins or loses. A ninja is a master of his environment and himself. I am seeking worthy adversaries, not monetary gain."

Silver's POV

"Would anyone mind telling me where I am and who all these people are?"

Vector's POV

Vector was so busy listening to his headphones and playing air guitar that he never even saw the camera.

Metal Sonic's POV

"Last night Master awoke me from my sleep mode and shoved me into a box. I was in the box for three hours with a flicky bird who soiled my mainframe," here he pointed to a large white splotch on his yellow chestplate, then continued, "and when he opened the box I was here. I would kill him if he hadn't initiated that safety protocol."

 _Note: Metal Sonic's POV was SEVERELY censored. For an uncensored version, get over it and realize that it ain't a-gonna happen. Shame on you for wanting to know such things!_

Ix's POV

"I am old. Now that you know, quit asking me why my dreadlocks are snow white. Old guys have white fur!"

Fang the Sniper

"It feels great to be back in the action, mate!"

 _Note: Fang's accent is edited out due to the fact that I cannot tell the difference between a neat Australian accent and a snooty British one._

 _Note Note: We apologize to all you snooty British people._

Mephiles the Dark's POV

"Get that camera out of my face, or I'll—"

 _Another note:…guess why this is here. It's the same reason Mephiles' POV ended so suddenly._

Scourge's POV

"No, I'm not Sonic's brother! Why would anyone even think that?"

Bean the Dynamite's POV

"Hey! I have dirt in my fingernails! And ooh, this toilet is shiny…"

Bean grabbed the toilet and tried to pull it out of the outhouse. A security guard tackled him and the screen when to static again.

Mario's POV

"No, It-a doesn't-a feel good to not-a get a chance-a. But I will-a win-a the prize-a!"

"Hey! I thought Chris told you to get lost!" Chef yelled, and Mario screamed and ran away, machete wielding' Chef hot on his heels.

* * *

 **The next chapter is the first challenge. Who will be the first to be kicked off the island? Technically, it was Mario, but who will be the first who was actually supposed to be on the island in the first place?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hmm…does no one like this fic? I wonder…Disclaimer: The same as last disclaimer**

* * *

Half an hour later, the 16 contestants were at the Dock of Shame with Chris, awaiting their first torture…err, I mean, challenge.

"Alright campers, here's the deal. As you may remember, last time we had the contestants jump off a cliff into an ocean. But this time, we have something else in mind." Chris held up a picture of a creature that was quite obviously Chef in a bunny suit. "This is FrankenBunny, a diabolical creation made by Dr. Sciencestine. He's escaped and is roaming around the island. Dr. Sciencestine has offered a reward to whomever catches FrankenBunny first: Immunity for your team. Whichever does NOT bring in the bunny will be forced to vote somebody off tonight around the campfire. Oh, and Dr. Sciencestine wants FrankenBunny alive. So, no guns."

Everyone looked over to Shadow the Hedgehog and Fang the Sniper. Shadow glared at them for a while, and finally dropped two 9 millimeter handguns on the dirt.

Meanwhile, Fang dropped a 50 cal. sniper rifle, three hand grenades, GPS Guided Javelin Rocket Launcher, five handguns, two magnums, an RPG, a SMG, a Desert Eagle, four Uzis…and he just kept digging more and more stuff out of his pockets.

Fang finally looked up with a sheepish grin and admitted, "Uh, you blokes might wanna start without me. I could be awhile."

Chris nodded with his award-winning smile and rubbed his hands together. "OK, campers. Begin."

Sonic and Shadow zoomed away at top speed, the rest of the campers following at a more leisurely pace.

* * *

"The mighty hunter stalks his prey," Sonic whispered to himself. He and Shadow had split up once they'd gotten into the woods, so Sonic was all alone. Personally, the blue blur was having a blast. He'd only been here for half an hour, and already he was completely lost in a spooky forest hunting down a killer bunny rabbit who could rip his head off. Awesome!

Sonic pulled back some branches and walked through. However, he let go too soon and the branches snapped back and whacked him on the back of the head. Sonic stumbled to the ground, unconscious as Chef—err, I mean, FrankenBunny, hopped right over him and continued on his merry way.

* * *

Meanwhile, Eggman and Bean had inevitably gone with each other. That had been happenstance; a rather unfortunate one as far as Eggman was concerned.

"I bet when we find him he'll rip off our heads with his bucked teeth, like that weird kid who ripped off bottle caps back in those 50's shows. And then he'll drink our intestines like a fizzy drink!" Bean said happily.

Eggman made a disgusting face at the thought. "Don't you ever shut up?" he asked.

"I don't know. I'll ask me later," Bean replied.

Eggman rolled his eyes and stepped on something, that, surprisingly, recoiled and hissed. It was a giant anaconda!

"What the…anacondas aren't indigenous to this part of the world!" Eggman gasped, his eyes bugging out at the size of the creature. "And even if they were, they never grow to _that_ size!"

* * *

Back at the camp, Chris was watching the action in a comfy chair. He took a sip of his pepsi cola and said, "That was a _lot_ of paper mache, but it was SOOOO worth it."

* * *

Back in the woods, Eggman screamed like a little girl and took off. The anaconda shrieked like a banshee and reached down, grabbing Bean with his mouth and flinging the laughing duck into the air. Bean landed on the anaconda's head. Once there, he started tap-dancing, as the anaconda realized that he couldn't reach his meal. The anaconda started spinning around and around, trying to eat Bean, who continued to laugh like the psycho he was.

* * *

Black Doom and Shadow, both completely lost, stumbled into the same clearing at the same time. The two locked eyes and stared each other down.

Black Doom cleared his throat and said, "So, at last you come to me, as I knew you would."

"I stopped you once, I'll do it again," Shadow said, charging up Chaos Spears.

"Don't be a fool. Together we could destroy the pathetic humans and take control. Join me, and we will rule the galaxy as father and son!" Black Doom said enticingly, raising his arm out to Shadow.

"I'll never join you," Shadow snapped. "You're not my father!"

"Oh, but I AM your father," Black Doom said, handing Shadow a record of his creation. "See?"

Shadow looked at the certificate and his eyes widened. "NO!" he screamed in horror. "NO!...wait, this was made in Dakota at the Fake Birth Certificate Gazebo, you liar!"

"Hey, fake certificates are certificates, too!" Black Doom said defensively.

* * *

Back at the campsite, Chris was grinning big. "Family quarrels make for great TV, dudes."

* * *

Amy was cautiously creeping around the woods, her Piko Piko hammer prepped and ready to go. She was more than a little tense; she was downright terrified.

She stepped forward and fell into a bottomless pit. "Oomph!" she said as she hit the bottom. She rubbed the back of her neck and looked around. It was just big enough for her and a big sign that read, 'Bottomless pit. Don't fall in.'

"Shouldn't that sign be at the _top_ of the pit?" Amy wondered. Then she shrieked as thousands of bugs started crawling around her. Amy started smashing them as fast as she could with her hammer…

* * *

"Pasta Power!" Mario gave his war cry as he jumped out at FrankenBunny, taking the fiend by surprise. The next thing Mario knew, FrankenBunny pulled out a machete and started trying to gut him with it. Mario screamed and ran all the way to the Dock of Shame, where he dived into the Boat of Losers. FrankenBunny threw the machete away and hopped back to the woods.

* * *

Scourge and Ix were walking around the woods. They were presumably looking for FrankenBunny, but they seemed to be doing more Sonic bashing than looking.

"I hate him so much, my hatred hates him," Scourge said.

"Is that so? Well, I despise him so much, I wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire."

"I wish I could kick him in the face," Scourge continued.

"I wish I could—" Ix tripped over something and fell with an "Oomph!" He twirled over to see what it was and—surprise, surprise—found he'd tripped over an unconscious Sonic!

Ix and Scourge looked at each other and gave wicked smiles, evil villain thoughts already rising in their heads.

* * *

Vector was so busy listening to his music he never even realized that a challenge was going on.

* * *

Espio was camouflaged as he quietly snuck up on FrankenBunny, who appeared to be grazing. The ninja quietly reached the bunny's side and pinched a nerve ending. FrankenBunny collapsed, unconscious, and Espio dragged him back to camp.

"We have a winner!" Chris cheered as Espio handed him FrankenBunny. "Sonic Heroes win the first challenge, so they get immunity. Sorry, Villains, looks like I'll see you at the elimination campfire."

Most of the villains grumbled, except Bean, who was still happily riding his anaconda, and Fang, who was still pulling weapons out of his pockets.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Eggman POV

"I can't believe we lost AGAIN. This is all Fang's fault. If not for his stupid obsession with weapons, he could have helped us win!"

Sonic's POV

"Well, duh, of course we won," The hedgehog looked different, but perhaps that was because he'd been beaten up and then tarred and feathered. "We always win. You can't beat da hedgehawg!"

Fang's POV

"I can't help it if I have guns! I'm Fang the _Sniper_. I have guns. If I was Fang the Lollipopper, I'd have lollipops."

Black Doom's POV

"Curse you, Son!"

Shadow's POV

"No, I'm NOT Black Doom's son! I never was and I never will be!"

* * *

The elimination campfire ceremony. The Sonic Villains were all sitting on the stumps, while Chris held a bunch of marshmallows.

"In my hands I hold the Marshmallows of Safety. There are 8 of you, and only 7 marshmallows. When I call your name, you come get your marshmallow. If I _don't_ call your name, you must walk the Dock of Shame, get in the Boat of Losers, and leave. And you can't come back. Ever. Let us begin. Eggman."

Eggman smirked and walked up to get his marshmallow.

"Black Doom."

The alien tyrant grabbed his marshmallow.

"Scourge."

The hedgehog cheered quietly and grabbed a marshmallow.

"Ix."

Looking pleased, the echidna grabbed a marshmallow.

"Mephiles."

Mephiles smirked, taking a marshmallow.

"Metal Sonic."

If he could, Metal Sonic would have looked sad at having to stay, but he nevertheless took his marshmallow.

"I have only one marshmallow left. There are two of you left."

Fang looked at Bean worriedly. Bean was inspecting his toenails.

"And the last marshmallow of the night goes to…Bean. Come get your marshmallow."

Bean grabbed the last marshmallow as Fang gasped in shock.

"Sorry, Fang. The campers have spoken. You must go."

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Fang's Last POV

"I can't believe they voted ME off! Mephiles and Metal Sonic didn't help in the last challenge, either! I know for a fact that they stayed behind and TP'd the mess hall."

* * *

Fang numbly got up and walked across the Dock of Shame and climbed into the Boat of Losers, and it started off.

"One of you is gone. There are 15 contestants left. That means there are going to be a lot more losers before this is all over. Who will walk the Dock of Shame, and who will win? Find out on Total Sonic Island," Chris said, as the camera faded out.

* * *

 **Now, PLEASE RR!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Two things before we get started: No, there will be no pairings, as I despise romance. Although there will probably be some Amy trying to catch Sonic going on. Secondly, I am open to suggestions regarding challenges. If you have an idea for a cool challenge, tell me in a review and if I do it, you'll get full credit for it. Disclaimer: Ditto.**

* * *

"Last time on Total Sonic Island…" The Dock of Shame was being shown again, as peppy host Chris recapped the story thus far. "The campers had to find the dreaded FrankenBunny. After a day of near misses, a family conflict, and a Sonic beating, Espio brought in the bunny and won immunity for his team. Fang the Sniper was the first one voted off. Mario was kicked off the island again. Who will be next? Find out today on Total Sonic Island)

(Da, da, da, da! Theme Song Music!)

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Amy's POV

"Last night was the worst night, EVER. The cabins are moldy and some guy named Owen left his monogrammed underwear all over the place. Yuck! The beds were hard, the blankets were drafty, and you can hear Sonic snoring in his sleep from all the way across the campground."

Sonic's POV

"I don't snore!"

*Goes to the night camera that was recording last night. It zoomed in on Sonic who was snoring so loudly that a female moose mistook it for a mating call and started licking his head.*

* * *

"Good morning, campers," Chris greeted the 15 unhappy campers, who grunted, moaned, and/or gave him veiled death threats in reply. "We've got a busy day planned, but first: breakfast. Oh, Chef!"

Chef walked through with a bucket full of some foul-smelling gruel. He spooned out a bunch an dumped it on each camper's head, then he walked off.

Now that breakfast is over," Chris continued, among cries of: 'Yuck!' 'Gross!' and 'I'll never get this gunk out of my fur!' "It's time for today's challenge. It's a drama play."

"Oh, please," Metal Sonic muttered under his breath.

"Each team will be given 45 minutes to make a drama skit based on a cheesy cartoon. The cartoon is entirely up to you, but whatever it is it must have a hero, a villain, a sidekick, and a damsel in distress. The hero must win, and EVERY member of your team must have at least a small part. The team with the best drama wins immunity tonight. And: Begin!"

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Mephiles' POV

"If I shoot Chris, can we leave?"

* * *

Team Sonic Heroes' preparation:

"Ok, I'm the hero, of course. Amy's the damsel in distress, and Tails is my sidekick. Knuckles'll be the bad guy," Sonic said.

"Wouldn't it make more sense to make Shadow the villain?" Espio asked.

"No, I've got something even better in mind for Shadow…"

* * *

Team Sonic Villains' preparation:

"So I guess I'm the good guy, because no one else wants to be," Eggman finally conceded. "Mephiles gets to be the bad guy, Scourge is my sidekick, and blah, blah, blah. Looks like we have all the roles necessary except for the damsel in distress."

Black Doom raised his hand and cleared his throat. "Um, we have no dames—I mean, damsels."

"Well…" Eggman looked over at Metal Sonic in a way the android wasn't entirely sure he liked. "We'll just have to improvise."

* * *

45 minutes later, Chris and Chef were sitting in front of the stage set they'd had the interns make, awaiting the first play. After a while, Silver stood on the stage and cleared his throat. He went into an obviously rehearsed speech.

"The old west. Where lawless villainy wreaked havoc on the poor westerners. So cries rang out for a hero. And no hero was greater than the great El Kabong!"

The curtain raised to see Sonic the Hedgehog, dressed in a black cape, a black hat, and a black mask. He had a sword made out of paper mache by his side, and in his other hand he had his Kabonger—a guitar.

"EL KABONG!" Sonic screamed, hitting the guitar on the ground.

"With El Kabong was his faithful sidekick, Bubalooey." Silver continued.

Tails walked on stage, sporting a sombrero. "Hello," he said, waving at Chef and Chris.

"Bubalooey, look at what I found!" Sonic showed a newspaper to his faithful friend.

"It's an ad," Tails said. " 'Wanted: One great hero to defeat the evil tyrant, Don Don. What's we do, El Kabong?"

"We shall rid that town of that infamous Don Don! Quick, Bubalooey, to my faithful steed!" Sonic rushed to the other side of the stage and disappeared. He reappeared riding his faithful steed—Shadow the Hedgehog, who was on all fours like a horse. The ebony furred hedgehog glared as Sonic kicked his middle. "Giddy Up!" Sonic ordered.

Gritting his teeth angrily, Shadow slowly and painfully walked across the stage and off the other side. Then Sonic ran back on, alone.

"Well, here we are, Bubalooey," Sonic said. "At the nameless lawless town, being terrorized by the evil Don Don."

"Look over there, El Kabong!" Tails pointed across the stage, where Vector, Amy, and Knuckles had just appeared. "Don Don has that damsel in distress tied up next to that tree!"

The tree was Vector, who had been so caught up in his music they couldn't actually get him to play any parts.

Knuckles looked around, threw his hands up in disgust, and yelled, "This is stupid—I quit!" and stomped off.

Sonic looked at Chris helplessly. The host shrugged and said, "You're losing points for that."

"Ah…obviously Don Don had a decoy…Don Don is definitely a CHAMELEON!"

Espio poked his head out from behind the curtain and whispered, "I thought I was the grateful village person."

"You've been promoted—get out here!" Sonic whispered back. Espio shrugged and walked onstage.

"Ah ha! We meet at last, Don Don!" Sonic said, taking his paper mache sword and swinging it around. The end of it tipped down, unable to support its own weight. "Prepare to meet your—oomph!"

The last word was the result of Espio sweeping Sonic's feet out from under him, grabbing his arm before the hedgehog fell, and flipping him so he landed on his stomach.

"I thought the idea was to let ME win, Espio!" Sonic hissed.

Espio blinked. "Oh."

Sonic painfully got back on his feet, and raised his Kabonger, hitting Espio on the head with it. Espio just stood there with a confused look on his face.

"You're supposed to fall because of the agonizing pain, Espio!" Sonic reminded him.

"But it didn't hurt," Espio said.

"Espio!"

"Oh…alright." Espio did a horribly over-dramatic death scene and fell down. His leg twitched.

Sonic glared at him. "Everyone's a comedian," he said sarcastically.

Amy walked away from the Vector Tree and started swooning over Sonic.

"Ooh, you're so strong and handsome and brave and handsome and smart and handsome," Amy cooed, practically drooling. "How can I, a brilliant and gorgeous supermodel, ever repay you?"

Sonic started laughing hysterically. "Oh, man, Amy," he said when he could suck in enough air to talk. "You actually said 'brilliant and gorgeous' like you actually meant it!"

Amy's jaw dropped. "WHAT!" She screamed, grabbing Sonic's guitar and hitting him over the head with it.

"Hey!" Sonic cried, rubbing his head. "I'LL do the Kabonging around here, and don't you forget it!"

Amy hit him again.

"Aw, come on, Ames," Sonic pleaded, as the peeved hedgehog girl chased him offstage.

Silver and Tails, who now found themselves standing onstage with nothing to do, grabbed Vector and walked off.

* * *

Chris shrugged. "What the heck. I'll give them a 4 for effort."

Chef nodded.

"Well, let's see if the villains can beat it."

* * *

Bean the Dynamite was shoved onstage. "Who is this masked marvel?" he asked. "Sarge, the police chief?"

Ix raced on stage, shook his head no, and raced off.

"Rosemary, the telephone operator?"

A rope that was laying across the stage started to be pulled, and a bound and gagged Metal Sonic with a blonde wig was dragged across to the other side. He was obviously struggling to get away.

"Henry, the mild-mannered janitor?"

Eggman walked on stage with a mop. "Could be," he admitted. Then he started singing horribly off-key. "Hong Kong Phooey, number 1 super guy. Hong Kong Phooey, quicker than the human eye. He's got style, a groovy style, and a car that just won't stop. When the going gets tough he gets super rough with a Hong Kong Phooey CHOP! Hong Kong Phooey, number 1 super guy. Hong Kong Phooey, quicker than the human eye…"

Bean suddenly jumped in front of Eggman and started break dancing as he did the be-bop section of the theme song. "Chuga chong, chuga chong ckukka bop bop bodda bodda bing bang bong…"

One of those crooked hook thingies appeared and grabbed Bean by the neck, yanking him off stage.

Eggman stood there, blinking awhile, until he remembered what he was supposed to say. "Uh…Hong Kong Phooey. Fannnn-rific!"

Ix, the still bound Metal Sonic, Eggman, and Scourge (who had a pair of cat ears tied to his head) all walked onstage.

Metal Sonic, who was still gagged, yelled something, that, though muffled, probably wouldn't be conductive to the rating. His fellow actors, however, simply improvised.

"What's that Rosemary?" Ix said. "The evil Professor Shrinky has escaped from the Prison for the Criminally Tiny? Ooh, ooh, if only Hong Kong Phooey was here!"

Eggman leaned over to Scourge and said, "You hear that, Spot? Quick to the filing cabinet!"

Ix walked off stage, and Metal Sonic was forcibly dragged offstage, still ranting thankfully unheard threats. Eggman and Scourge raced over to a filing cabinet, and Eggman tried to get inside, only he was too fat to fit. Scourge gave an apologetic chuckle and tried to force Eggman inside, but it was a no go. Finally Eggman simply ducked behind it and put on a bathrobe, although you could still see his big fat gut. Then he shook the cabinet and yelled, "Hey, this door is stuck again! I'll need to use my super chop!"

Scourge reached over and tapped the cabinet. Eggman yelled and jumped out from behind the cabinet. "Ha, ha! I guess that showed that. Come on, Spot."

Scourge followed Eggman offstage.

Mephiles and Black Doom walked on stage. "What is your evil plan this time, Professor?" Black Doom asked.

Mephiles turned his evil gaze at the alien. "I swear, if you call me by that ridiculous moniker Eggman gave me, I will TEAR OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND FORCE YOU TO EAT THEM, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!"

Thoroughly cowed, Black Doom nodded humbly.

Mephiles lit a match. "My plan is to burn this entire stage to the ground so I will no longer be forced to participate in this trash." And then he dropped the match, setting the stage on fire.

The campers rushed away from the stage as it burst into a huge fireball. Bean laughed maniacally and started doing the shuffle, singing, "Burn, baby, burn!"

Chris and Chef looked at each other and grinned. "Villains win the challenge!" Chris called.

"WHAT!" The heroes proclaimed in unison.

"All the villains participated, and they even had a song number. Sorry heroes, I'll see you at the elimination campfire tonight," Chris said, walking off.

Mario showed up in Shakespearean garb and started acting. "To eat, or not-a to eat. That is-a the question."

"Fool!" Chef yelled. "The question is: How many times can I knock you three ways from Tuesday?" Then Chef chased Mario back onto the Boat of Losers.

* * *

Espio's POV

"What is the point of such a challenge, I ask you?"

Tails' POV

"If you ask me, this is Knuckles' fault for not participating."

* * *

That night, the Sonic Heroes were the ones around the campfire. Chris held out the Safety Marshmallows.

"I have 7 marshmallows and there are 8 of you. Whoever does not get a marshmallow must walk the boat of Shame, leave via the Boat of Losers, and leave the island forever. And you can't come back. Not even for a visit. When I call your name, come get your marshmallow." Chris held the first marshmallow up and called, "Shadow."

Shadow calmly grabbed his marshmallow and sat down.

"Amy."

Amy squealed and grabbed a marshmallow.

"Tails."

"All right!" Tails cheered, taking a marshmallow and shoving it in his mouth.

"Silver."

"Yes!" Silver said taking his marshmallow.

"Espio."

Espio appeared out of thin air and spiked a marshmallow with his katana. Then he disappeared again.

"Knuckles."

The echidna smirked and grabbed a marshmallow.

"One more marshmallow. Two campers."

Sonic looked at Vector, who was doing an air drum solo.

"And the last marshmallow of the night goes to…Vector."

Sonic's jaw dropped. "You're voting me off?" he gasped. "Why?"

"Because we hate your guts, Faker!" Shadow snapped.

"Vector, come get your marshmallow."

Vector didn't move.

"Vector?"

Ditto in the no moving department.

"Hey, if he don't want it, I'll take it!" Sonic suggested.

Chris frowned, then shrugged. "Works for me, dude," he finally conceded, throwing Sonic the last marshmallow. Then Chef dragged Vector off, who to this day doesn't know what Total Sonic Island is, or that he was ever on it.

* * *

 **Have any of you guys watched the Quick Draw McGraw cartoons featuring El Kabong or the Hong Kong Phooey shows? Oh, man,** _ **there's**_ **the way to get your daily dose of cheese. RR, please.**


	4. Chapter 4

**OK, I had a question that I'd better nip in the bud: This Chris is the Chris from Total Drama Island, NOT Chris Thorndyke from Sonic X. Now that we have that settled, enjoy. Disclaimer: I have nothing.**

* * *

The next day, the 14 campers woke bright and early and stumbled into the mess hall, where Chef was stirring some brown slop that looked like something you really wouldn't want to shove in your mouth.

"What is that?" Silver asked, trying in vain to identify the messy slop.

"Soup of the day," Chef replied, as the Soup of the Day _roared_ at them and a large tentacle emerged from it.

"The soup of the day is ALIVE!" Amy screamed, and the contestants scattered, none of them wishing to taste the soup of the day.

* * *

"Good morning, Campers," Chris greeted the unhappy campers yet again. "I know you're eager for today's challenge. Today I'll need two volunteers for each team, to represent ALL of you. The winner's team gets immunity, the other on will have to go to the elimination campfire. So, who volunteers?"

There was a long silence, then Sonic heroically volunteered, as well as Tails, who was hoping for a science fair, or something Another long silence past, until the villains shoved Mephiles the Dark and Bean the Dynamite forward.

Chris held up a long piece of rope and cheerfully announced, "It's a three-legged race! First team around the island and back wins!"

Mephiles and Tails both started protesting at the same time.

"You can't tie me to _him!"_ Mephiles said in horror, pointing to Bean.

"I just did," Chris said, having performed the said action.

"Do you know how many kilometers long this island is? Thousands. To run around the entire thing could take days," Tails said. "Especially tied to him…"

Sonic narrowed his eyes. "Kilometers? How far is that in regular people miles?"

Tails cocked his head as Chris tied him and Sonic together. "Actually, most of the world, with the exception of North America, uses the metric system."

Sonic cocked his head, much like Tails was doing. "So…what does that mean in normal people words?"

Tails sighed and decided to forget it.

"Ok, contestants," Chris said, having them stand in front of the starting line. "And…GO!"

The contestants hobbled off.

* * *

 _15 minutes into the competition…._

"SONIC SLOW DOWN!" Tails screamed. Sonic was dragging him…literally. The hedgehog was going as fast as he could while tied to a two-tailed fox kit. That happened to be about three times faster than said fox kit could walk while tied to a super fast hedgehog. So Tails had fallen, and Sonic was dragging his poor, little body across the ground.

Sonic stopped and started bouncing in place as Tails picked himself up.

"Hurry, Tails," Sonic said, rearing to go. "They're gonna finish before us!"

"Sonic, they're behind us. They're not going to win because we stop for three seconds."

"You never know with villains," Sonic said.

* * *

 _Meanwhile, in a different part of the island…_

"…And I don't even LIKE flamingos but my mom doesn't approve of going to the prom with my sister's cousin's roommate twice removed so I have to go with Pinky Flamingo's little sister's aunt's neice's friend's cousin, so I'm all getting the heebie jeebies and did I mention that an orangutan beat me up in fourth grade and…"

"SHUT UP OR I'LL DARK CHAOS LANCE YOU TO THE END OF DAYS!" Mephiles screamed, his left eyelid twitching wildly. "And it's orangutan, you half-baked twit!"

"Well, ex-cuuuuse me!" Bean huffed. "Sorry to bother you, your royal Scroogeness."

"That doesn't make any—"

There was a loud shrieking noise that cut him off. The two whirled as best they could since they were, you know, tied together. The result was that they toppled over and Bean landed on top of Mephiles. The Dark screamed something incomprehensible and started kicking the duck, which didn't help much, because 1. Bean had landed in such a way that he was incapable of getting up because of the rope that restrained him and 2. Being a weirdo, Bean enjoyed being kicked repeatedly upside the head.

"Get off me you pitiful excuse for a lower life form!" Mephiles screamed, finally managing to maneuver around so that he and Bean could stand up. Mephiles glared at Bean angrily. The duck quacked and started contemplating.

"You know, I once heard someone say that like, Spain gave us the Tango, and I think it was England…someone gave us the Waltz, and like, some islanders or someone else gave us the Rhumba, and we gave everyone else the Funky Chicken and the Mashed Potato."

"What does that do with ANYTHING!" Mephiles snarled.

"Well…I like the Funky Chicken and the Mashed Potato," Bean admitted, trying to do the aforementioned dances. Since he was tied to Mephiles, he only succeeded in kicking him repeatedly across the behind.

Mephiles snarled like an angry banshee and punched Bean in the face. Bean laughed like a maniac and punched Mephiles back. The two started an all-out fist fight.

* * *

Sonic and Tails were standing in front of the Island's river, wondering how they would get across.

"Water," Sonic said, sporting a bullwhip at his side and a brown fedora on his head. "Why'd it have to be water?"

Tails looked at him strangely. "Where did you get the cap?" he asked.

Sonic huffed. "It's not a cap, it's a fedora," he said, tossing the aforementioned fedora to the wind. It hit a seagull that had a six pack plastic ring wrapped around his neck. The fedora threw his wings out of sync and he fell into the river. An alligator appeared out of the water and swallowed him whole.

Sonic and Tails gawked at the water with a horrid expression on their faces.

* * *

Back at camp, the other campers were watching the action with Chris and Chef.

"Where did you get the alligator?" Eggman asked curiously.

"It was left over from last season," Chris explained. "Chef thought of it."

Chef nodded, giving a rare smile.

Eggman chuckled evilly. "You, my friends, are evil _geniuses._ "

"You know it," Chris agreed.

* * *

Mephiles and Bean were not going to win at the rate they were going. They'd hobble forward three steps, get into a yelling argument and start beating each other up, and while they're on the ground tussling they'd roll backwards eight steps. So they needed a new plan.

They needed to cheat. The question was: How?

The duo finally stumbled into a clearing and noticed something strange about it. That strangeness might have stimulated from the fact that there was a Catholic Priest standing in the middle of it in front of a Geo Metro. (That's a car. Although debate is still out on whether it could really be called 'car' or not. Since, after all, you run the risk of breaking it whenever you change the oil.) (Note: That's the truth. I'm not making that up. Certain types of oil will break the blooming car. Stupid car.)

"Hello, my sons," the priest said, all smiles. "My name is Father Tyme, and I'm afraid I have gotten a bit lost. Would you mind telling me how to get to the Home for Starving and Neglected Orphans? I have some donations for them."

Mephiles and Bean looked at each other. Then, before Bean or Father Tyme could say or do anything to stop him, Mephiles jumped on the good priest and bound and gagged him. Although where he had gotten the rope and gag was a question for the ages. Then the Dark took every cent the priest had, stole his car keys, and hopped into his car, leaving the poor priest tied up in the middle of nowhere.

A neat thing about the Geo Metro: It's a subcompact car. 'Sub Compact' is a neat way to say that Mephiles could sit on the left-hand driver seat, and Bean could sit in the back, on the right-hand side, _with their legs tied together_ , and not restrict each other's movements. Cool, huh? Unless, of course, you own one. Then you're crying because of the cold, hard truth I've shoved into your face.

Still not sure what being in a Geo Metro is like? Think Donkey Kong on Mario Kart. Ah, yes, you get it now.

Mephiles glanced back and saw that he was not the only one to rob the priest. Bean was happily playing with the white band that goes in the priest's collar.

"Lookie here!" Bean said happily. "Kills ticks and fleas up to eight months."

Mephiles glared at him. "You are _such_ an idiot."

* * *

Back at the camp, the heroes and even some villains were watching Mephiles and Bean's antics in absolute horror.

"He robbed a priest!" Scourge gasped.

"That's low," growled Knuckles.

Eggman crossed himself, looking grave.

"Poor Father Tyme," Amy sniffed.

"I got to admit, I wasn't expecting him to rob a priest," Chris admitted. "But, it's ratings week, and every little bit helps."

* * *

Four minutes later, Mephiles and Bean were driving into the finish line, for surprisingly, the Neo Geo was faster than going on foot. They climbed out and Mephiles calmly turned his gaze to Chris. "We win," he said simply.

At that precise moment, Sonic and Tails stumbled into camp, both sweating and exhausted. One of Tails' tails was inside a snake, which was hanging off of him and being dragged along the ground.

Sonic was dragging a small poodle, who was chewing on his leg. And also an old lady, who was with the poodle, and was repeatedly hitting him on the head with an umbrella.

"Did we win?" Sonic asked.

"Sorry, the villains cheated," Chris explained.

Tails' eyes widened. "That's allowed?"

"Hey, they're called _villains_. Get over it." Chris started walking off. "See you heroes at the elimination campfire."

Mario hobbled into view with a fake leg tied to his right leg. At least, we all hope it's fake. Since, you know, there was no body to go with it.

"Hey, where'd you get the cool leg?" Bean asked for no reason in particular.

Mario looked horrified. "What-a leg? I got-a no leg-a. I GOT-A NO PROBLEM-A!"

"You will have one, fool!" Chef cried, chasing the hobbling Mario with the cool third leg and no problem-a back to the Boat of Losers, where hopefully he will stay put this time.

* * *

That night, Chris annoyingly repeated the rules about the marshmallow elimination even though everyone already knew them, and then he started calling names. "Sonic," was the first one called.

Sonic smirked and grabbed a marshmallow. "I see you guys have come to your senses."

"Shadow."

"Humph," Shadow calmly took a marshmallow and sat down with it.

"Tails."

"Yippie!" Tails gulped down his marshmallow as soon as it was in his hand.

"Amy."

"I knew you wouldn't vote me off!" the pink-furred Amy cooed as she grabbed a marshmallow.

"Knuckles."

Knuckles took a marshmallow.

"I have only one more marshmallow tonight. There are two of you left."

Espio and Silver looked at each other defiantly.

"And the last marshmallow of the night goes to…Espio. Come get your marshmallow."

Silver just sat there, stunned as Espio took the final marshmallow.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Silver's last POV

"Why do I get kicked off? What did I do to deserve this?"

Amy's POV

"Silver doesn't DO anything! He wastes space others could be using."

Sonic POV

"Silver smells like cheese. The yucky kind."

Father Tyme's POV

"Ah, hello, I'm afraid I've misplaced my vehicle. Does anyone know where I can find it?"

Mephiles' POV

"Why did I rob a priest? Because I can."

Bean's POV

"Wait, that was a priest? Why on earth was he wearing a flea collar?"

* * *

Back at the campfire, Silver slowly walked the Dock of Shame and numbly entered the Boat of Losers, never to return. Someone tapped him on the shoulder and he turned to see Mario, who held out a (hopefully) fake leg.

"Hey-a, buddy. Wanna buy-a leg? Only-a had-a two owners."

Silver looked at Mario strangely. "Please tell me that thing's fake."

Mario's eyes widened. "O…of course-a it's fake-a! I HAVE-A NO PROBLEM-A!" Then he turned and jumped off the boat, screaming, "You'll-a never-a get-a me!"

Silver scratched his head and picked up the leg. Thankfully, it was made out of plastic. But by the writing on the back, it looked like some hospital in Cleveland was wondering why one of their prosthetic legs were missing.

* * *

 **Please remember to review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is probably one of the longest chapters I've ever written. Cool, huh? Disclaimer: I own naught.**

* * *

"Good morning campers!" Chris cheerfully remarked as the…is it 13? I think so…lets see…started with 16, voted off 3…so yeah, thirteen. The thirteen campers stood in a row awaiting their next torment.

"Today, our challenge is…to survive the Carnival of Doom!"

There were a few startled responses, and a couple of unknowing blinks, as the group waited for an explanation.

"The whole carnival ground has been drenched with water for so long that you will be walking in ankle-deep mud the whole time, and you must ride one ride, which is the first ride you happen to lay eyes on…even if it look like they're about to break down. And, in my hands, I have a box of random stereotypical traits you find at a carnival. You MUST act exactly like it tells you during the whole ride, or you will be disqualified. The team that has the least number of disqualifications wins the challenge. The losers must vote somebody off tonight. Come get your traits."

Sonic heroically reached into the bag and grabbed a paper. He looked at it and his jaw dropped. "Be completely bored and unimpressed with the whole thing, even if it's awesome?" he read. "You mean I have to act like SHADOW!"

"Looks that way, dude," Chris admitted.

Sonic's face showed that he wasn't really looking forward to this next challenge. One by one, the others came forward and picked their papers from the bag.

Amy and Mephiles were ordered to scream like little girls on every ride. Tails and Metal Sonic were told to draw attention to themselves whenever possible. Shadow and Knuckles drew a card stating that they had to make smart-aleck remarks about each ride.

"So…" Shadow narrowed his eyes and glared a Chris. "You're saying I have to act like Sonic and Sonic has to act like me?"

"That's what the card said," Chris confirmed.

"Are you sure this drawing isn't rigged?"

Bean also got a 'stay bored and be unimpressed' card.

"Well, we just lost," Mephiles muttered.

Ix, Scourge, and Espio got a card that said they were supposed to beg for mercy and swear that they would never get on another ride again for as long as they live if they get off of this one alive.

Eggman eagerly grabbed the last card and looked at it. An uncomprehending look crossed his face and he read, "Yodel opera? Who the daisy yodels opera on an amusement ride?"

"Apparently, you do," Chris said, looking into the bag and getting one last card out. "What do you know, a leftover yodel opera card. I guess we put in one too many begging for mercy ones, huh?"

Suddenly, Mario appeared out of nowhere, grabbed the leftover card from Chris' hand, and ran off into the woods, waving the paper and yodeling opera at the top of his lungs.

"Uh-huh…" Chris said. "Well, we're getting our amusement rides set up on the other side of the island, show up here in a half an hour to start the challenge."

Grumbling about the unfair stereotypes they were supposed to portray, the campers stalked off to the barracks.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Amy's POV A Screamer

"This is SO unfair. I mean, screaming my lungs out like a little girl? Honestly, that is such a demeaning image. I'm a strong, independent woman, not a scared little kid!"

Mephiles' POV (A Screamer)

"Yeah, like I'm gonna scream like a little girl. While we're at it, why don't we all watch a Chick Flick and I can sob my eyes out?"

Espio's POV (A beggar for his life)

"This is both demeaning and pointless."

Ix's POV (A beggar for his life)

"I'm glad I drew begging and pleading. I was going to do that anyway."

Scourge's POV (A beggar for his life)

"I'm not sure I know how to beg for my life. I guess I could try to remember what everyone says when they meet me…"

Tail's POV (An attention grabber)

"I'm really nervous. I really don't like grabbing any spotlight. The thought of people staring at me gives me the creeps."

Metal Sonic's POV (An attention grabber)

"This will be easy. I've found that going on rampages and trying to kill Sonic is a sure-fire attention grabber."

Bean's POV (A grumpy, unimpressed guy)

"Ooh, this toilet is SO shiny!" Bean hugged the toilet and the security dude had to drag him out before he started licking it. (Ew.)

Sonic's POV (A grumpy, unimpressed guy)

Sonic crossed his arms and glared at the camera. "Look at me, I'm Shadow. I hate everybody and everything." After his speech, Sonic started laughing hysterically.

Knuckles' POV (A smart-aleck)

"I assumed if I did nothing, they'd kick me off, but it doesn't appear to be working."

Shadow's POV (A smart-aleck)

"Wassup, I'm Sonic! I'm a bonehead faker! I have no brain! Watch me prove it!" Shadow said, having heard Sonic's previous Toilet Cam and also feeling frustrated at his current role. Now that he'd made his speech, he crossed his arms and glared at the camera, silently ordering it to leave.

Eggman's POV (A yodeler of opera)

"YODEL Opera? What the hey? I mean, honestly, who yodels opera?"

Mario's POV (A Yodeler of opera)

"I am a world-a renown-a opera-a yodeler-a," The plumber said proudly. "You gotta get-a your gut-a in it-a."

"Hey, fool! What are you doing in there?" Chef's voice came from outside the toilet, along with someone pounding on the door. Mario screamed like a little girl and jumped into the toilet. A noise like the kind you hear when he goes into those green pipes was heard, and he disappeared as Chef broke the door down. "You're paying for that, fool!" Chef yelled into the toilet, pointing at the broken door.

Black Doom's POV (Was not assigned a task)

"I hid under the kitchen table so I wouldn't have to take part in the challenge. Carnival rides creep me out."

Total number of heroes participating: 6. Total number of villains participating: 6. Total number of Marios participating: 1.

* * *

Half an hour later, the 12 participating contestants, (Mario is nowhere to be found) entered the makeshift amusement park. As promised, there is sloppy, ankle-deep mud everywhere.

"Ew," Amy said, lifting her foot. "This is disgusting!"

"OK, Campers," Chris said, appearing out of nowhere. "Everyone team up in pairs of two, and get on your ride. On your marks, get set, go!"

Everyone found a partner and started to look for their amusement ride.

* * *

Sonic and Shadow teamed up, both determined to 1. find ways to make the other crack and 2. not crack themselves. They were going to stay in their assigned characters if it killed them, because they sure as heck weren't going to be outdone by the faker! (Who the faker was, depended on who you asked.)

The two found a ride known as the Scorpion. It had two arm like things that wheeled around a large metal pole with a picture of a scorpion on it. Each arm had four 'finger-like' things on it, each finger thingy having a seat. The thing was designed to lift you about ten feet off the ground and spin you around as fast as it could.

Sonic and Shadow got onto the ride and sat down. The guy who started the ride appeared. "Switch places," he ordered, and the two obeyed.

"You're not doing this so he'll squish me in the turns, are you?" Shadow asked.

The guy gave them both evil glares as he locked them in. "I hope you puke your brains out," he spat, turning to leave.

"If I do, I'm aiming it at you, pal!" Shadow yelled towards him. Sonic rolled his eyes and stared off into the distance, looking completely bored.

The ride started, and as the seats lifted to their appropriate height, the whole ride creaked as if it was straining to lift their weight. Shadow's eyes widened and he turned to Sonic, chuckling nervously. "Uh…I don't think this ride wants us on it, do you?"

With an amazing amount of superhuman restraint, Sonic yawned into his hand and looked like he was going to fall asleep. "Whatever," he muttered.

Shadow stuck his tongue out at Sonic. "Gloomy Gus," he teased. The ride started picking up speed, spinning in circles and swinging towards and away from its metal center.

Shadow found that he'd been positioned so that every time it was going towards the metal center, he was staring at the painted on scorpion. He noticed with discomfort that he came _very_ close to the scorpion each time. The fact that the ride continued to squeal like a stuck pig didn't help.

Shadow turned to Sonic and said, "I swear, if that Scorpion is the last thing I ever see, I'm going to kill Chris."

Sonic _might_ have given Shadow a small, barely visible smirk, but one couldn't really tell.

Shadow continued running his mouth. "The way I see it, we have two choices. One, the thing we break off near the ground and are crushed by the giant scorpion picture. The other is we break off in the air and go sailing off into the distance to be burned up in the sun. Either way, we die. Only difference is, one gives us good air time. Which would you prefer?"

"Humph," Was Sonic's preference.

Shadow raised his eyes. "Bah, humbug to you too, Son."

Sonic turned and glared at Shadow. "Don't call me Son," he warned.

Shadow grinned, knowing he'd found a nerve. "You got it, Son."

Sonic scowled at him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Knuckles, Mephiles, Amy, and Bean all found themselves waiting to get on the 'Ring of Fire,' something like a complete roller coaster loop with no other track. The man who was getting them on the ride buckled them in, then said, "I have one rule on this ride: If something goes wrong, scream really loudly so I can get out of the way in time." Then he went to the box and turned the ride on, laughing like a maniac.

Amy was so freaked out by the guy that she was screaming long before they completed the first loop. However, Mephiles was silent.

"Shouldn't you scream?" Knuckles asked, as he was sitting beside the Dark.

"So?" Mephiles asked. "I don't scream. Shouldn't you be heckling?"

"So?" Knuckles repeated. "I don't heckle."

"WHEEEEEEEE!" Bean squealed, even though he wasn't supposed to be having fun.

Villains disqualified: 2

Heroes disqualified: 1

* * *

Still elsewhere, Eggman and Tails were waiting to get on the Scrambler. Tails was so terrified of his role of drawing attention to himself, that when the guy who started the ride opened the gate and motioned him to get on, he panicked and ran away. He spent the rest of the night hiding in the kitchen in the table next to the one Black Doom was using to hide in.

Eggman, however, got on the ride and, his face turning a deep magenta, loudly yodeled the opera 'Carmen' throughout the entire ride.

Villains disqualified: 2

Heroes disqualified: 2

* * *

Espio, Scourge, Ix, and Metal Sonic all got on their own ride: an Extreme Ferris Wheel thing that had two wheels that revolved around each other. Scourge and Espio got on one, and Ix and Metal Sonic got on the other.

As soon as the ride kicked into motion, Ix freaked out. "I'm going to die!" he yelled. "Dear Lord, save me! If I ever get off of this alive, I'm never getting on another one again!"

Scourge and Espio could fully see the hysterical Ix from their own seats.

"Uh-uh," Scourge said. "If that's what Chris wanted us to do, I'm not doing it!"

Espio nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, Metal Sonic was about to get started on his own challenge, when the panicking Ix's arm reached over and accidentally hit his shutdown button. Metal Sonic powered down, and therefore didn't get to complete his challenge.

Villains disqualified: 4

Heroes disqualified: 3

* * *

While this was happening, Mario eagerly waited in line at a ride called the Gravitron, when Chef noticed him, grabbed him by his overall straps, and kicked him into the Boat of Losers, so Mario never got to complete his challenge either.

Villains disqualified: 4

Heroes disqualified: 3

Marios disqualified: 1

* * *

"Heroes win the challenge!" Chris said, appearing out of nowhere. "Villains, I'll see you at the elimination round tonight."

*Toilet Cam*

Eggman's POV

"You mean I yodeled opera and we STILL lost?"

Ix's POV

"Where was Black Doom during this?"

The camera flashed to Black Doom, who was peeking out from the kitchen table. "Is it safe to come out yet?" he asked.

* * *

That night, the seven villains were around the Elimination Campfire. Again, Chris gave the boring speech again and started naming names. "Eggman," was the first one called.

Eggman grinned and took a marshmallow.

"Ix."

Ix took a marshmallow eagerly.

"Metal Sonic."

Metal Sonic was still off-line, so Chris threw the marshmallow at him. It hit him in the face and he fell over.

"Mephiles."

Mephiles took a marshmallow.

"Scourge."

Scourge grabbed his marshmallow.

"Two of you left. One more marshmallow."

Black Doom looked nervous, and Bean was admiring the shiny toilet handle he'd stolen while in the Toilet Cam.

"The last marshmallow of the night goes to…Bean."

Black Doom gasped.

"That's what you get for ditching us, you traitor!" Eggman yelled. The villains booed and threw rocks at the evil alien as he ran down the Dock of Shame and dove into the Boat of Losers.

Chris watched the drama and turned back to the camera. "And another one bites the dust! Who will be next? Find out next time on Total Sonic Island!"

* * *

 **Told you it was long. RR, please.**


	6. Chapter 6

**This challenge is brought to you today by the reviewer MewMewKitty78, and by the letter 9.**

 **Disclaimer: I know 9 is not a letter. That was the point.**

* * *

The 12 campers awoke bright and early the next day to find Chris. He was smiling eagerly with a 2 liter of Mountain Dew in his hand. "This next challenge requires you all to have a soda drinking contest," he said. "Whoever drinks the most soda pop wins. Chug 'em down, campers!" With that, he threw the 2 liter into Bean's hands. Bean shook it vibrantly and opened the cap, laughing maniacally as soda pop went gushing out like a miniature Old Faithful.

More pop bottles were handed out, and the campers started chugging soda like mad.

Sonic was gulping down soda faster than anyone, thanks to his super fast speed. But surprisingly—or perhaps, unsurprisingly—Eggman was a very close second. Apparently, he had a lot of practice chugging stuff down.

Finally, all the soda was gone, and everyone had a small pile of empty jugs to deal with. Everyone looked bloated and uncomfortable.

Sonic was hopping up and down in one place, his eyes widening. "Uh…nature's calling. Gotta go!"

Before he could, though, Chris called out, "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

"What are you talking about?" Amy asked.

"Campers, it's time for your next elimination challenge," Chris said loudly.

"I thought _this_ was the challenge!" Eggman interrupted.

"No, this was part 1. It's time for part 2. No one is allowed to go to the bathroom for 24 hours."

Mephiles' eyes widened. "You mean this whole drinking contest was to make it harder for us not to go?"

"Yes," Chris said unabashedly.

Mephiles cocked his head. "I'd be careful if I were you. Someday, you could disappear without a trace."

Chris gave Mephiles an award-winning grin. "Who could ever hate me, dude?"

* * *

 _Meanwhile, many miles away from the island…_

Fang the Sniper finished reloading his favorite sniper rifle and aimed it at the cardboard targets he'd set up. Interestingly, they were all shaped and painted to look like Chris' head. (The guy from the island, not the one from Sonic X. Although, if you look _really_ hard, you might be able to spot a couple of Thorndyke heads mixed in.) Fang gave a satisfied grin as he opened fire and blew all of the Chris heads away.

* * *

 _Still elsewhere, out in the great big world…_

Vector the Crocodile was managing his money while listening to his headphones, wondering 1. Where the heck Espio was, and 2. Why in the world did he have a desire to kill someone named Chris?

* * *

 _In a distant future…_

Silver was sitting under a tree, enjoying the cool breeze that was common to the future now that Iblis was destroyed. Silver had nothing particular on his mind, save to wonder where his best friend, Blaze, happened to be, and also if it was possible to mess up Chris' taxes so badly, he'd be thrown in jail for life. Or he could just hit him on the head with a floating box.

* * *

 _And in a galaxy far, far, away…_

One of the Black Arms aliens scratched his head at his leader's new edict. Who was this Chris person, and why did Black Doom hate him so to issue a royal edict stating he must be found and forced to listen to Barney the Dinosaur music? Usually, that torment was only reserved for the lowest, vilest, detestable scum of the universe. Most of all, he didn't get the last part. It read: **P.S., this is for the guy on the island, not the guy on Sonic X. But if you get the guy on Sonic X, you could go ahead and torture him, too. I don't like him either.**

* * *

 _And, somewhere in Utah…_

The original cast of Total Drama Island were throwing a 'We Hate Chris' Guts!' party. Even Chef showed up.

* * *

 _Back at the Island…_

You may not know this, but it took 6 hours to go and check up on all the Chris haters. Sonic, Bean, Ix, and Eggman were out. Tails, Amy, and Scourge looked like they were going to blow up soon if they didn't get any relief. Mephiles, Metal Sonic, Espio, and Shadow still looked as if they weren't bothered by the fact that they had each drunk about 4 gallons of pop and hadn't gone to the bathroom for 6 hours straight. Or, it could have just been that they were too stubborn to admit they had to go.

It probably didn't help the contestants any to find that Chris _insisted_ they stay near the beach, or that Bean was splashing in the water and laughing about how it tickled. In fact, I don't think it helped at all.

Tails crossed his legs with a pained look on his face, closing his eyes and trying not to think of the tide rushing in, when Bean saw that Tails was close enough to him to splash.

 _SPLASH!_ Bean hit Tails right in the face. The poor fox kit couldn't help it any more; he rushed towards the toilet but didn't make it in time. Tails, now sopping wet with more than water, stopped running and just stood on the beach, as if stunned that he'd just peed himself. The fact that Mephiles and Metal Sonic started laughing and making fun of him didn't help things.

Amy got so mad at the fact that Mephiles and Metal Sonic were making fun of Tails, she grabbed her Piko Piko hammer and beat them both up. Doing so made it impossible to hold it in any longer. Luckily she was able to make it to the toilet.

* * *

 _15 hours into the competition…_

Shadow and Mephiles were starting to fidget ever so slightly, although they still stubbornly refused to admit that they were in pain. Scourge looked like he was dying. He probably was; you never can tell with villains. Espio was rock still. Hadn't moved for thirty minutes. Bean, for one, loudly insisted to everyone that Espio was dead. To prove it, the duck walked over and started poking the chameleon with a stick.

Espio, in one fluid motion, grabbed the stick, yanked it out of Bean's hands, and hit him on the head with it. Bean laughed, then his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he passed out. Everyone cheered for Espio, then Scourge threw in the towel and ran off to the bathroom.

* * *

 _20 hours into the competition…_

Espio was meditating, or something. He certainly wasn't using the bathroom. Metal Sonic looked bored. Shadow and Mephiles were no longer trying to hide the fact that they had to GO. Both looked extremely uncomfortable, but they continued to glare at each other, each stubbornly refusing to go before the other one did. Shadow crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing as he dared Mephiles to make a break for it. Mephiles, for his part, glared at Shadow, and neither of them moved a muscle.

Chris, for one, was getting bored. He walked right in the middle of the still participating contestants and opened a bottle of juice, which he then poured into a paper cup.

This was _way_ more than either Shadow or Mephiles could handle, and both of them made a break for the bathroom at the same time, each trying to get there before the other one did.

Shadow made it first. He slammed the door on Mephiles' nose, grinning to himself as Mephiles pounded on the door, screaming death threats at the top of his lungs.

* * *

 _23 hours into the competition…_

Espio opened his eyes, stood up, and walked over to Metal Sonic. He bowed, silently admitting his defeat, and walked to the bathroom without a word.

* * *

 _24 hours into the competition…_

Metal Sonic looked around and asked, "Can I stop standing here now?"

Chris nodded. "Yep! The 24 hours are up. You can go tinkle now."

"I don't have to go," Metal Sonic said evenly. "I'm just tired of standing here."

"How can you NOT have to go?" Amy asked in amazement.

Metal Sonic shrugged. "I'm a robot. I never have to go," he said, walking off.

Everyone just stood there, stunned by this rather OBVIOUS fact, when Mario showed up, looking proud.

"That's-a nothing-a! I haven't-a been able-a to-a go for-a 20 years-a!" he said.

"That's sick!" Sonic said, looking disgusted.

"It's-a true," Mario confessed. "I've-a got a very slow-a metabolism-a."

"How many times I gotta throw you of this island?" Chef yelled, having come back from the 'We Hate Chris' Guts!' party, complete with complimentary anti-Chris T-shirt. He chased Mario into the Boat of Losers, again.

"I will-a be back-a!" Mario promised, and Chef threw a rock at his head.

* * *

That night, at the elimination campfire…(Skipping obvious rules of the elimination campfire that Chris won't stop explaining…)

"The first marshmallow of the night goes to…Espio!"

Espio grabbed a marshmallow.

"The next marshmallow goes to…Amy."

Amy wordlessly grabbed a marshmallow.

"Shadow."

Shadow took a marshmallow.

"Sonic."

Sonic cheered and took a marshmallow.

"One marshmallow. Two campers." Chris said, grinning evilly at Knuckles and Tails. "And the last marshmallow of the night goes too..."

He paused, letting the remaining two contestants sweat it out a little longer. Then he said, "Tails. Come get your marshmallow."

Tails sighed with relief, then raced to grab his marshmallow.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Knuckles' Last POV

"Finally! I've been trying to get booted off this island since day 1!" Knuckles said. "Going AWOL during this last challenge finally seems to have done that."

Amy's POV

"Just where was Knuckles, anyway?"

The camera goes to a flashback, showing Knuckles sneaking into the cabin and placing something on Sonic's bed, but the camera angle was such that you couldn't see what it was.

* * *

Back at the dock, Knuckles got into the Boat of Losers and left without a word. Mario tapped him on the shoulder. "You wouldn't-a happen to have-a laxative, would-a you?"

Knuckles glared at Mario and punched him in the face, knocking the portly plumber off the boat.

* * *

The remaining campers went to their bunks. Sonic pulled the covers off of his and screamed. "What is that!"

Shadow peered down from his bunk and said, "That is a weevil."

"Get it off my bunk!" Sonic shrieked. Shadow shrugged and Chaos Blasted the weevil and Sonic's bunk off the face of the universe.

Sonic looked at the ruined bunk and glared at Shadow. "Gee, thanks," he said sarcastically. "How am I supposed to sleep on ash?"

"That's your problem," Shadow replied, rolling over and going to sleep.

* * *

 **Who will be voted off next? What will the next challenge be? Will Mario ever stop showing up on the island? Find out on Total Sonic Island!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Today's challenge idea was inspired by the suggestion of Leni-the-hedgie. Hope you like. Disclaimer: Ditto.**

* * *

"Rise and shine, Campers!" Chris yelled through his annoyingly loud megaphone as the grumpy campers managed to force their battered bodies out of bed.

"Good morning," Chris said in his way-too-perky voice. Then he threw the megaphone away and continued, "It's time for your next challenge!"

"Whoop-de-do," Scourge said sarcastically.

"Today's challenge: Buy a T-Shirt!"

Everyone blinked. "Say what?" Tails finally asked for clarification.

"But not just any T-Shirt: it's one of the rarest and most sought-after clothing items of the season: The Puffy Pink Poodle Shirt!" Chris handed out photos of the shirt to everyone; the shirt was hot pink with a picture of a pink, cottony poodle in the center.

Amy squealed with delight at the sight of the shirt; everyone else groaned and felt like they're eyeballs were throwing up at the sight. Mephiles actually did throw up; turns out he's deathly allergic to puffy pink poodle items.

Of course, that could do nothing more than raise the TV Network ratings. And that, was dang good television, as far as Chris and Chef were concerned.

"And to top it all off, you'll be at one of the most crowded death traps in North America: The Mall of America, located in Bloomington, Minnesota!"

A collective round of groans and requests for lawyers came from the campers, but to no avail. Chris forced them into a camp bus and took them to the Mall of America, even though Total Sonic Island was supposed to be on an _island_ , and therefore Chris shouldn't have been able to drive them off of it.

* * *

At the Mall of America…

"Each of you get 15 dollars for the shirt," Chris said, handing out the money. "First one who brings it back to me wins immunity for his team. Go at it!"

Amy, a thrilled look on her face, raced into the mall faster than Sonic normally ran. The rest of them, not at all pleased to be buying a pink poodle shirt on live TV in one of the biggest malls in North America, slowly followed her in.

* * *

Eggman, using science, a process of elimination, and a device that allowed him to find horribly pink poofy objects at a moments notice, found the dreaded shirt five minutes after going in. It was a size 2, but Chris hadn't actually said it needed to fit him, now did he?

Eggman was standing at the checkout line behind a sweet little old lady, who was also awaiting her turn. Eggman suddenly realized that she kept staring at him.

Fidgeting nervously, because who wouldn't be freaked out that a total stranger was staring at them at a checkout lane?

Eggman cleared his throat and asked, "Um, can I help you?"

"Oh!" the sweet little old lady blushed. "It's just that you remind me so of my son. He's off at the war, you know."

"I see," Eggman replied. "Well, I'm not your son, so would you please stop staring at me?"

The sweet little old lady sniffled. "I miss him so," she sobbed, as the clerk started to check out her items. "Would you do me a favor? Please call 'good-bye, mother' when I leave? It would make me feel so much better!"

Eggman sighed, but figured that it couldn't hurt anything, so as the little old lady started to leave, he yelled, "Good-bye, mother!" at her back. Then he placed his shirt on the counter and the clerk ringed it up.

"That'll be 155.95," the clerk said.

Eggman's jaw dropped. "For one little shirt?"

"Your mother said you would pay her bill," the clerk replied.

Eggman gasped as he realized he'd just been conned by a sweet little old lady. "But I don't have 155 dollars!"

"You won't pay?" the clerk asked. Then she hit a big red button and a SWAT team broke in through the window. They tackled Eggman and he screamed as his face hit the checkout counter, bounced off, then hit the ground.

* * *

In a completely different part of the store, Tails was in a computer shop, drooling at all the neat techo parts he wanted. Sonic was with him, wondering why they were hanging around here, as the dreaded T-Shirt was nowhere to be found.

"Tails? Shouldn't we be looking for the shirt?"

Tails ignored him, instead grabbing one doohickey or other, rushing to the counter. Sonic jumped in front of him.

"Tails, what are you doing? We're supposed to get T-shirts, not doohickeys!"

Tails looked up at Sonic with wild, bloodshot eyes and snarled at him. "The precious! We must have its! Precious!" he hissed, caressing the doohickey fondly.

Sonic, completely freaked out, stepped out of the way and Tails rushed to the counter, laughing hysterically over his prize.

* * *

Mephiles was wandering aimlessly down the mall, when a large group bunched around him, forcing him to take refuge in a nearby shop.

Mephiles glared at the crowd preventing him from leaving, then turned around—and stopped, a look of terror in his eyes.

He was in a shop called Princess Pretty's Pretty Land, a store dedicated to all things pink, puffy, and poodle.

Mephiles shrieked and stumbled back, actually knocking over the pink items and he passed out, his face swelling up as his pink, puffy, poodle allergies started working up.

* * *

Scourge the Hedgehog sighed and walked into JC Penny's, hoping they'd have the T-shirt he needed.

He really, really hoped that nobody recognized him. Since most people didn't know who he was, that was actually a pretty good possibility.

He snuck to the area that the T-Shirt would be in and found an entire rack full of them. He grinned and reached for one.

" _Attention, shoppers. Puffy Pink Poodle T-Shirts are now two and a half cents off."_ said a voice over the loudspeakers.

A mob of screaming, raving, bargain hunting women rushed the rack, trampling Scourge in a flurry of feet and fists grabbing for the coveted T-Shirt. When it was over, the rack was completely empty, and Scourge was being carted off by a medical team.

* * *

Bean the Dynamite had forgotten why he was at the Mall of America in the first place, and was happily riding the rides in the inside theme park it offered.

"ALRIGHT!" He cheered, going down the miniature roller coaster in pure bliss.

* * *

Amy Rose had found the T-Shirt. She cheered and raced to the shirt, reaching it at the same time as Rouge the Bat, who was at the mall for no apparent reason.

"Hey! Let go; I saw it first!" Amy yelled.

"No, I did!" Rouge protested. Amy grabbed her Piko Piko hammer and hit Rouge over the head. Rouge kicked Amy's legs out from under her. As Amy fell, she grabbed Rouge's wing and knocked the bat down as well. The two grabbed each other's throats and started to roll around the floor, trying to beat the snot out of each other.

* * *

While they were thus preoccupied, Espio, who had determined this place to be the most brutal battlefield he'd ever been on, snuck in, grabbed the shirt, and hurriedly paid for it before anything else could go wrong.

As soon as he got it into the bag, an angry shopper raced in and knocked him out, racing on to find another person who had managed to buy something so the shopper could knock them out, too.

* * *

That night, Chris managed to find and get the 11 campers back to the bus, where he announced the heroes as the winners, as Espio was the only one who had managed to bring him a T-shirt. Eggman was in jail; Scourge was in the hospital; Tails was ranting like a lunatic; Sonic was hiding from Tails; Mephiles was having an allergic reaction; Amy was fighting Rouge for a shirt that had already been bought, Bean wouldn't get off the roller coaster.

As for the three that weren't mentioned, Metal Sonic had been mistaken as a Pepsi machine by a nearsighted vendor operator. (The guy in charge of getting the money out of the machine.) He'd torn Metal Sonic to shreds trying to get the money out. Ix was busy playing a Super Smash Bros. Brawl demo set out by the mall's game store. And as for Shadow; well, the international gun show was at the mall today; so that explained that.

"Villains, I'll see you at the elimination campfire," Chris said, walking off.

Mario rushed into view with the pink poodle shirt. Mephiles had another reaction and passed out.

"How'd you get that shirt?" Sonic asked in amazement.

"It's-a pink-a!" Mario explained breathlessly, looking around as if terrified. "I took-a it from-a Princess Peach's closet-a! She's-a not-a happy about it-a!"

"I'm not happy about having to keep kicking you off this island!" Chef retorted, getting ready to chase Mario back to the Boat of Losers again.

Before he could do anything, however, a furious Princess Peach stormed up to Mario, grabbed her shirt, and produced a frying pan much the same way Amy Rose produced her Piko Piko hammer. The regal princess then proceeded to beat Mario over the head with it.

Protesting weakly, Mario rushed off, diving into the Boat of Losers as Peach kept beating him for stealing her puffy pink poodle shirt.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Tails' POV

"The precious! We won'ts lets them takes it from us!"

Sonic's POV

"Poor Tails. Going without technology for so long made his little geek brain snap."

Eggman's POV

"I cannot _believe_ I got conned by a sweet little old lady!"

Scourge's POV

"I can't feel my legs!"

* * *

Once again, Chris repeated the boring rules of elimination that we all know. Then he handed out marshmallows. "Scourge."

Scourge was immobile on a stretcher, but he twitched his nose a little to show that he accepted the marshmallow. Chris threw it at him and it hit his stomach. Scourge's eyes filled with tears and he whimpered in pain.

"Mephiles?"

The Dark's entire body was red and puffy from his horrid allergic reactions earlier. But he painfully managed to take a marshmallow anyway.

"Ix."

Ix, who was dressed like Solid Snake for some reason, grabbed a marshmallow and started quietly interrogating it.

"Bean."

Bean was licking the dirt, but he took the marshmallow so he could wear it as a hat.

"One more marshmallow. Two campers left."

Eggman looked worried. Metal Sonic was experiencing a catastrophic core meltdown because of the stupid store guy.

"Metal Sonic."

The marshmallow was placed on a sparking Metal Sonic's open chest cavity, where the electricity from the short circuiting wires melted it to a gooey mess.

"Sorry, Eggman, the campers have spoken."

Eggman gawked in shock. "This is impossible! I'm the prominent Sonic villain! I can't be voted off!"

"The stupidest Sonic villain," Scourge managed to boo.

"You got conned by a little old lady!" Mephiles accused through puffy lips.

Even Ix was getting on Eggman's case. "How do you sleep at night?"

So, amongst the taunts of his fellow villains, Eggman shamefacedly walked the Dock of Shame, entered the Boat of Losers, and promptly got hit in the face with a flying frying pan.

"Oops! Sorry," Princess Peach apologized, in the middle of mauling Mario with a rolling pin.

"Oha gobba bu…" Eggman said graciously, before passing out.

* * *

 **Eggman is GONE! Whatever shall we do? Oh, well. Who will be next? Find out, on Total Sonic Island. Oh, BTW, I've actually been to the Mall of America. The actual stores in the story are made up; I wasn't able to see all the stores in Mall of America. But on my honor, it really does have an indoor amusement park.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Today's challenge contributor: Fake Norris for suggesting a singing competition! But of course, a mere singing competition would be easy after a drama play, sooooooo….**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic or Total Drama Island. And all songs and bands/music singers mentioned in this chapter do indeed exist and are the property of their respective owners.**

* * *

"Welcome back to this special edition of Total Sonic Island!" Chris yelled through his microphone at the sleepy campers who were lined up listening to him. "What's so special about it, you ask? Well, today, NO ONE will be voted off after the challenge."

Everyone gasped and started to whisper amongst themselves after this announcement.

"Instead, the winner of the challenge gets: A free T-Shirt!" Chris held up the puffy pink poodle shirt from the last challenge.

"You want me to bust my butt for a poodle T-Shirt?" Mephiles asked incredulously.

"Yes," Chris replied.

"A T-Shirt that I fought my way through a mall to buy and give you?" Espio asked for clarification.

"Yes," Chris said. "The worst loser of the challenge will be leaving the island."

"But I thought you said no one was being voted off," Amy called.

"No one is being voted off—by you," Chris explained. "Instead, the worst loser will be decided and voted off—by them."

Everyone turned to where Chris was pointing. The Boat of Losers was pulling into the Dock of Shame. Three humans were inside.

The one in the front had grayish/brown eyes and a mean look to her face. She was also completely bald. Next to her was a blue-eyed, blonde haired girl. The girl's hair was pulled back by a bandanna. She had a happy-go-lucky, glazed look in her eyes. The guy behind them was also blonde, and extremely fat.

"Today's challenge: An American Idle Contest! The judges are three of the campers from last season: Heather, Lindsey, and last season's champ, Owen," Chris said. "The unpaid interns have been working all night to make this challenge possible."

The camera turned to show an exact duplicate of the American Idol stage, complete with booths for the judges. And also one unpaid intern KO'd in the middle of the stage with a bucket full of water balloons and an empty carton of pure sugar next to him, but we all know the unpaid interns and their problems are not important.

"Now, here are the rules," Chris continued. "Because the guidelines state that we aren't allowed to post song lyrics not in the public domain, and I have no idea what 'public domain' means, you're not actually going to sing the song."

Scourge blinked slowly. "How are we going to have a music competition without singing the song?"

"First off, don't interrupt me. Ever." Chris ordered. Then he continued, "You're going to walk on stage, introduce yourself, and tell us the title of the song you intend to sing, as well as the name of the band who sings it. Then, the judges will make their decision."

"So, we just tell them what we want to sing?" Shadow asked.

"Correct."

"We don't actually sing it."

"Correct."

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Shadow's POV

"Really, this is pathetic. Can't anyone think of halfway decent challenges anymore?"

Amy's POV

"Oh, a singing contest…but without the singing. This sounds like fun!"

Heather's POV

"Ugh, I can't believe Chris made me go back to this STUPID island and crawl into this STUPID toilet again. I HATE this place! And now there's little rats scurrying everywhere!"

Someone banged on the door, and Sonic's voice called out, "Firstly, I'm a hedgehog, not a rat, and secondly, would you hurry up in there? Some of us gotta GO!"

* * *

It was time. Chris showed the judges to their booths. He set Owen to the right, Lindsey in the middle, and Heather in the left. Then he jumped on stage and said, "Welcome, to American Idle! I'm your host, Chris. With us today are our celebrity judges, last season's champ and a current star of the hit series Total Drama Action, Owen!"

"Hi," Owen called.

"Next to him is the rather ditzy but somewhat lucky Lindsey!"

"HI!" Lindsey called, standing up and waving both her arms.

"And finally, we have the Mean Girl."

After a silence, Heather yelled, "I have a _name_ you know."

"And this is me not caring," Chris replied. "Let's get this show on the road. Our first contestant is the one and only Sonic the Hedgehog!"

Chris walked off, and Sonic rushed on, looking nervous.

"Uh…Hi," he told the judges, his voice squeaking a bit. He cleared his throat and continued, "My song is Jekyll and Hyde, by Petra."

There was a silence, and finally Chris had to remind the judges that the contestants weren't actually going to sing the song. Then, one by one, they gave their answers.

"I've never heard of it," Owen admitted.

"Ooh, that was great! You have a terrific voice," praised Lindsey, sniffling.

Heather glared at Sonic for awhile, her Mean Girl Powers activating. "Your song choice wouldn't have anything to do with that game that just came out, would it?"

"What game?" Sonic asked, starting to sweat.

"Sonic Unleashed. Where you turn into a big, hairy monster at night," Heather prompted.

"Werehog," Sonic corrected. Then he fidgeted. "And it _might_ have had something to do with it, and then again it might not."

"Yeah, this is a challenge. Not a publicity stunt," Heather replied, completely not amused. "Also, tell me, what about the term 'werehog' doesn't sound remotely stupid?"

"It's not stupid!" Sonic said, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"In fact, what about your whole series isn't completely stupid?" Heather continued. Sonic rushed off the stage so no one would see him bawl like a baby on national television.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Sonic's POV

"What right does she have to criticize me? What makes her so special? It's not like she has a multi-million dollar game franchise and tons of fan based websites dedicated just for her. And I have friends! Does she have friends? I think not!"

* * *

Back at the competition, the next contestant hopped on stage. It was Bean the Dynamite. He grabbed the microphone and yelled, "Thank you, Detroit! I'm singing a PARODY SONG! PARODY, PARODY!"

Bean started chanting the word 'parody' until Heather yelled, "Would you just get on with it already?"

"Fine," Bean calmed down a bit, then said, "I'm singing a parody of The Great Adventure by Steven Curtis Chapman, and it's called The Date Adventure by Mark Lowry."

"Ugh, parodies," Heather moaned.

Bean took a deep breath and started to sing. "GOIN' ON A BLIND DATE! Got a call from Steven; it was just as I feared. Said he'd found my ideal girl, if I could overlook her beard…"

"Hey!" Chris yelled. "The rules clearly state that there will be no actual singing!"

"I DEFY your rules!" Bean screamed. The security people rushed in and grabbed him, dragging him off the stage as the demented duck started to sing the song at the top of his lungs. "Another night out with a stranger, hope she's of the human race. I bought a dozen roses, figured how could they hurt? And prayed that my date would not be Godzilla in a skirt…"

The guards finally got Bean off of the stage and Chris cleared his throat. "Um…he's disqualified now, so just forget he was ever here," he ordered the contestants.

"I wish I could," Heather replied, rolling her eyes.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Bean's POV

Bean grinned at the camera and started to sing the song again. "Then walking up to her front door, I fought the urge to run. Would this girl be my Cinderella? Or another Attila, the Hun?"

That was as far as he got before the security guards tackled him and dragged him off again.

* * *

Now that Bean had been dragged off and was hopefully getting medical attention, it was Amy Rose's turn to sing.

"Hi, I'm Amy," she started.

"Hi Amy!" Greeted Lindsey.

Amy smiled and brushed her quills out of her face. "My song is 'My Obsession' by Skillet."

"Please," Heather rolled her eyes. "We don't need you to sing a song to know what your obsession is, you creepy Sonic stalker."

Amy's jaw dropped. "I do not stalk him!"

"You do too," Heather replied.

Owen took a sip of a juice packet that happened to be nearby. "Yeah, I think I'll have to go with the Mean Girl on this one," he admitted. "Sorry."

Amy looked miffed, and so did Heather.

"I have a name!" Heather snapped, as Amy stomped off angrily.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Amy's POV

"The nerve of that woman suggesting that I actually stalk Sonic! I do not stalk him!" Amy yelled in a huff. Then her eyes widened. "Do I?" she asked, uncertain of herself now.

Sonic's POV

"Stalker? Heck, yeah!"

* * *

Mephiles the Dark walked up to the stage, looked at the judges, and said, "If you vote me off tonight, I will track you all down and I will _kill you viciously and brutally and carve out your guts with a rock_ , understand?"

There was an uneasy silence, then Owen cheered. "All RIGHT!"

Mephiles glared at him and walked offstage in silence.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Mephiles' POV

"I'm trapped on an island with a bunch of morons."

* * *

Tails got onstage. He was foaming at the mouth and convulsing wildly. His eyes twitched as he looked down at the stand and realized that the microphone was a piece of _technology_. "THE PRECIOUS!" Tails shrieked, grabbing the microphone and cuddling it. Then he raised it over his head and ran offstage screaming, "ROSEBUD!"

There was another silence and Owen said, "I so did not need to see that."

"Really? What did you see?" Lindsey wanted to know.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Tails' POV

Tails noticed the camera in the toilet and grabbed it, trying to yank it off the stand. A hand holding a taser—presumably belonging to the guy taping the incident—appeared and touched Tails. The fox kit convulsed wildly then collapsed to the ground, twitching uncontrollably.

* * *

Shadow the Hedgehog walked onstage and sighed. "Let's get this over with," he muttered. "My name is Shadow the Hedgehog and my song is Overjoyed by Avalon."

Heather snickered. "You know you just set yourself up for me to totally waste you."

"You do that," Shadow told her, walking offstage.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Shadow's POV

 _Note: The toilet cam is still experiencing technical difficulties and cannot be shown at this time._

* * *

Back onstage, Ix and Scourge the Hedgehog walked out at the same time. "We're doing a duet," Ix explained.

"Oh, no you're not," Chris said. "But you can do separate songs at the same time if you want to."

Ix turned and started back offstage. "No, now I gotta think of a new song to rip off—I mean, use."

"Suit yourself," Chris replied.

Scourge cleared his throat and said, "Um…I'm doing the song This is Who I Am, by Third Day."

"Oh, I know who you are," Heather assured him.

"You do?"

"Yes. You are a loser."

Scourge grit his teeth and walked offstage.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Scourge's POV

"Geez, what a jerk!"

* * *

Ix finally rushed back onstage and said, "I'm singing The Kookaburra Song from Barney the Dinosaur."

Even Heather didn't know what to say to that.

"What?" Ix yelled. "I was pressed for time, OK?"

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Ix's POV

"So I don't like listening to music. At least I had a song, which is more than I can say for Mephiles or the crazy fox."

* * *

Espio sighed as he stepped onstage. "Must I participate?" he asked, looking as if he was in pain.

"Yes," Chris said. "Or you forfeit the match."

"Then I forfeit," Espio said. "I refuse to demean myself further."

"Well, that leaves Metal Sonic," Chris said, looking over to the still-malfunctioning android. "And I have a feeling he forfeits. So, judges, what's your verdict."

Owen stood up and cleared his throat. "The Mean Girl has told us who to vote for, and—"

"I have a name, you know!" Heather interrupted.

Owen ignored her and continued, "She decided to kick Bean off the island, just because. And she votes that Mephiles gets the T-Shirt, because he's scary."

Mephiles' eyes widened. "Wait, I don't want the—" that was as far as he got before the puffy poodle shirt was thrown at him, and he broke in a big, bloated rash.

"So the judges have spoken!" Chris said grandly, "And Bean takes the Walk of Shame!"

"WAIT!" Mario shrieked, getting onstage. "You didn't let me do the Super Mario Bros. Theme Song!"

"GET OFF THAT STAGE, FOOL!" Chef yelled, chasing Mario off.

* * *

Meanwhile, Bean merrily skipped into the Boat of Losers with the judges. The crazy duck turned to his former competitors and…started singing that parody song again.

"Got another blind date, I better close my eyes. Why do all my blind dates attract so many flies? Searching for my honey, but all I ever get is stung. I think that I'll stay a bachelor, whoa, whoa, this is the date adventure!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!" Heather screamed at him.

The last anyone ever saw or heard of Bean the Dynamite was his deranged laugh as he jumped on Heather's head and started doing Riverstomp.

* * *

 **This was sad for me, I liked writing Bean. But somebody had to go, and he was the funniest choice. RR, please!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Today's challenge was thought up by gh43. Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

"Rise and shine, campers!" Chris yelled through his megaphone.

Mephiles muttered from his place in line, "I'm going to going to get Chris. And his little megaphone, too."

"Today's challenge involves Go-Karts and a game of Chicken. But not against each other."

An elderly man in a flight suit came walking up to them and Chris nodded to him. "This is Okinawa Hisashi. He is an elderly Japanese Kamikaze pilot. He'll be driving that."

Everyone turned to see a giant monster truck with huge spikes on the front was sitting in a clearing. Across the other side of the clearing, was the ride the campers would be driving—a 50 cc go kart that looked like it had been put together entirely with duct tape.

"You want us to play chicken with _that_?" Amy gasped.

"Is it safe?" Sonic asked.

"Of course it is. We tested it with the unpaid interns," Chris replied.

Although nobody could see them, an unearthly scream filled the air and an unpaid intern screamed something like, "My legs are MISSING!"

But of course, the unpaid interns and their problems are not important.

"OK," Chris said, as the campers started to panic. "Who wants to go first?"

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Amy's POV

"There's NO way I'm playing chicken with a Japanese Kamikaze pilot!"

Sonic's POV

"It might not be so bad. After all, he is really old. Maybe he'll mistake a cliff face for my face. It never hurts to visualize."

Metal Sonic's POV

Metal Sonic's metal hull sparked and set the toilet on fire.

* * *

Sonic was chuckling to himself nervously as he strapped on a helmet and climbed into a go kart.

Okinawa Hisashi got into the monster truck and revved it up.

Sonic took a deep breath and muttered something under said breath; then he gunned the engine and took off like a shot. The monster truck burned rubber and started right towards him.

The closer the two became, the more nervous Sonic became. Finally, a few meters from the truck, Sonic yanked his wheel and pulled out of the way of the speeding truck.

Sonic stopped his go-kart and took a deep, panicking breath. "That was way too close," he admitted.

* * *

Ix took a good look at the cart and the truck, listened to Chris explain what he was supposed to do, and started laughing like a maniac. Then he told Chris he was an idiot and walked away.

* * *

Amy gave a weak smile as she took the helmet. She looked at the go-kart, started walking towards it, then she stopped. "I—I can't do it!" She sobbed. "I'm sorry." She cried and ran off.

* * *

Scourge did the challenge. He got three feet closer than Sonic had before he veered off. Then he climbed out of the go-kart, rushed up to the now-parked truck, and showed he was holding a switchblade. In front of everyone, Scourge slashed the truck's tires and walked off.

* * *

Twenty minutes and a spare change of tires later, a still malfunctioning Metal Sonic was thrown into a go-kart. His sparks ignited the gas inside the gas tank and a huge, superheated, and extremely-good-for-ratings explosion was the result.

* * *

Thirty minutes and a spare go-kart later, Tails was given the option of whether or not he would like to participate. The crazed fox kit stared at the go-kart, and his eyes lit up in a way that even Chris would find disturbing. Tails rushed to the go-kart, hopped in, yanked on something, then laughed and rushed off, having never spoken a word.

"So…I take it that's a no, then?" Chris yelled after him.

* * *

Mephiles the Dark climbed into the go-kart, spurned the helmet, and floored the accelerator, his evil eyes glinting as he played chicken with the monster truck.

Mephiles the Dark had had no intentions of turning; however, after he floored it, he realized something was wrong with this go-kart: part of the steering wheel was missing, and it was listing to the right. So _that's_ what that crazy fox had run off with.

Unable to control his go-kart, Mephiles swerved wildly and crashed head-first into a tree. The go-kart burst into flames again.

Mephiles fell out of the go-kart, his mind vaguely realizing that he was on fire, and he took off, rushing to the water where he jumped in. He saved his life; however the top part of his quills had been burned to cinders. He looked even more like a freak as usual. He gave a weak moan and passed out.

* * *

Espio shook his head. "I refuse to continue participating in such mindless amusement. There is no honor in behaving like a moron, and I will not disgrace myself in such a manner."

* * *

Shadow the Hedgehog, with his new go-kart, gave a sly smirk to the monster truck and put the pedal to the metal. He closed in on the truck, showing no signs of turning.

"He's going to kill himself!" Amy shrieked in terror.

"He's going to turn," Sonic contradicted.

Shadow shot past the area where Sonic and Scourge turned and just kept going, the truck looming closer and closer.

"He'll turn," Sonic said, sounding unsure of himself this time.

By now, Shadow and the truck were a mere fifteen feet away from each other.

"He's not going to turn," Sonic muttered in disbelief.

Finally, at the last possible moment, a squeal of brakes could be heard and…the monster truck swerved out of the way and stopped.

The door opened and Okinawa Hisashi stuck his head out of the door. "Are you crazy?" he asked. "You almost ran right into me! Crazy American drivers…" Then he closed the door and zoomed off into the horizon.

Shadow stopped his go-kart and got out matter-of-factly, tossing his helmet to a stunned Sonic and walking off without a word.

"What the?" Sonic turned to Chris. "I thought you said that guy was a Kamikaze pilot!" he yelled.

"Yes. A _living_ Kamikaze pilot," Chris replied.

Everyone's jaw dropped at that stunning, yet quite obvious, explanation.

"Now, since there are only nine of you left, tonight Shadow is the only one with immunity. I'll see the rest of you at the Elimination Campfire," Chris said, walking off.

Mario zoomed into the area on a go-kart, screaming, "I'm-a the best!" Then he drove off into the woods, apparently following the monster truck.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Amy's POV

"I feel really embarrassed now. But now the only problem is who to vote off?"

Scourge's POV

"I'm at a loss over who to vote off tonight. Tails has gone mad, and Metal Sonic isn't working anymore, and Espio is now refusing to do any of the challenges. They're all liabilities."

Mephiles' POV

"Tails' crazy obsession with technology is the reason I was burnt to a crisp! He set me on FIRE! He's so leaving tonight!"

Ix's POV

"I just write down Sonic's name every time I have to vote somebody off."

* * *

At the elimination campfire, Chris once again explained the boring elimination campfire rules. Like we all didn't already know them. Then he picked up a marshmallow. "First marshmallow goes to Mephiles."

"Good," Mephiles replied, taking the marshmallow.

"Amy."

"Yes!" Amy took a marshmallow.

"Scourge."

"Thank goodness," Scourge quickly took a marshmallow.

"Sonic."

"Woo-hoo!" Sonic cheered.

"Ix."

Ix took his marshmallow without a word.

"Espio."

The Ninja sighed loudly and took the offered marshmallow.

"One more marshmallow. Two campers."

The drama was somewhat lost in that the last two campers were Tails and Metal Sonic; Tails was too crazed to remember anything except that he needed technology and Metal Sonic just wasn't aware of anything, period.

"The last marshmallow of the day goes to…Tails."

Chef picked up the non-functioning Metal Sonic and tossed him into the Boat of Losers. Another round of sparks set the boat on fire and both boat and Metal Sonic sunk to the bottom of the river.

Everyone stared in shock at where the boat had been when Mario stumbled out of the bush, looking worse for wear with part of a muffler sticking out of his ear.

He looked at where the sunken boat had been and said, "Boy, am-a I glad I'm-a not on-a that boat-a."

Chef walked by, picked Mario up, and tossed him into the river.

* * *

 **RR, please.**


	10. Chapter 10

**HEY! I'm back from my vacation and feeling better than ever! Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic or Mario. The parody song Cat's in the Kettle is by Aaron Wilburn. I don't know who does the original song, Cat's in the Cradle, but it ain't me. So I don't own that, either.**

* * *

The next day, the remaining campers got up woozily. "Good morning campers!" Chris yelled, holding up two flags. "Today's challenge: A scavenger hunt! Since Sonic heroes have five players left and Sonic Villains have three, the heroes will have to loan the villains a player for this challenge."

Without hesitation, Sonic, Shadow, Amy, and Espio shoved Tails over to the Villains side.

"Oh, give us the crazy, good-for-nothing fox, will you?" Ix ranted. "I see how you are!"

Tails giggled madly and started licking Ix's leg.

"We don't want a crazy guy on our team!" Scourge whined. "Why do you think I bribed Mean Girl to take Bean out?"

The other two villains looked at him, shocked.

"You _bribed_ her to pick Bean?" Ix asked. "But I bribed her to pick Bean!"

Mephiles narrowed his eyes. "We've been had!" he said angrily.

"As I was saying," Chris continued as if nothing had been happening, "Each person gets a bowl."

Everyone was handed a paper bowl from a tired looking Chef. It stood to reason; if one didn't count the Unpaid Interns, Chef was the only one who worked on the island. And since the unpaid interns don't count, poor ol' Chef really had a lot of work to go through all by himself.

"Each team will go out into the woods and find these items. First team to fill the bowl completely to the top with the items wins!"

Sonic took his paper and looked at it. "Team Heroes list: Get worms." he read aloud. He blinked and gave Chris a funny look.

Mephiles read his own paper. " 'The popular Dunk Tank at Total Island's Fall Festival will be sponsored by Waste Management?'"

"That's mine," Chef said quickly, taking the paper and handing Mephiles a different one. Mephiles cocked his head and read, " 'See Team Hero's List."

"Are we sure we should want worms?" Amy asked. "That medicine tastes terrible."

"Unfortunately, we won't be searching for those kinds of worms today—although that might make a good challenge," Chris mused. "I'll have to make a note. This challenge involves digging for Earthworms. First team that fills all four bowls to the top wins!"

"…I hate you," Scourge said.

"And the feeling's mutual. Now get out there!" Chris ordered, pointing towards the woods as the campers grumbled off.

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Amy's POV

"Don't tell _anyone_ , but I hate bugs—especially worms. It's going to be a nightmare touching them!"

Mephiles' POV

"In 2008 I was unleashing a giant fire monster and literally controlled the whole world. Today, I dig in the dirt to find earthworms. What's wrong with this picture?"

Tails' POV

 _(Luckily, they have a hidden cam so Tails doesn't see it. Besides, he is too busy shoving his tails up his nose to care much anyway.)_

Sonic's POV

"I'm really starting to worry about Tails. He seems unstable."

Bean's POV

"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I guess I'll go eat worms! HERE'S JONNY! I AM BACK, WITH A BRAND NEW PARODY! YOU EVER HEAR THE SONG _CAT'S IN THE CRADLE_? THIS IS NOT IT! IT'S A PARODY!"

* * *

Back at the camp, the challenge was being held up, because nobody could find Tails. You and I know he went to shove his feet in peanut butter, but nobody else knows this. That meant the Villains were short one member.

And then Bean showed up.

"Hi, everyone! It's me again. My next parody is Cat's in the Kettle, a parody by Aaron Wilburn."

"Bean!" Scourge shrieked. "How'd you get back on this island?"

"The same way Izzy got back on the island in the first season," Bean said matter of factly.

"E-scope!" A feminine voice hissed from the bushes, then they all heard something or someone rushing off.

"Wait-a for me, Izzy—I mean-a, E-scope-a! I don't-a know my way around-a this island without-a you!" cried another voice, and another set of footprints rushed off.

"O-o-ok. Well, Bean is here and Tails is not; so Bean will take Tails' place, since Tails won't get his tails over here," Chris said, as Chef handed Bean a bowl.

Bean took the bowl graciously…and started singing his new parody song. "Didja ever think when you eat Chinese, you might be biting into a fat Siamese?"

"Bean, the singing contest is over," Ix muttered. "So _please_ stop singing.

Bean giggled and continued. "But the food taste great so I don't complain, but that ain't chicken in your chicken chow mein. Oh, I think I ordered sweet & sour pork, but Garfield's on my fork. Yeah, he's purrin' on my fork."

"And…Begin!" Chris called grandly and the campers started into the woods to look for worms. Earthworms, that is.

* * *

Mephiles was cursed. Or perhaps just being punished for the whole 'unleashing a ravaging monster to destroy the earth' incident. Whatever the reason for his present conundrum, he was certainly not happy.

For, no matter how hard he tried, Bean kept right on his heels. And he wouldn't stop singing that _stupid_ song!

"And there's a Cat in the Kettle in the peking room, the place I eat every day at noon. They can feed ya cat and you'll never know, once they wrap it up in dough. Oh, they fry it up in dough."

"Bean, if you don't _shut up in five seconds,_ I will KILL you DEAD."

Bean giggled. "That's an Oxiclean!" he cried.

"What? You mean oxymoron."

"I wouldn't say that if I were you," Bean warned. "The ox won't like it."

Mephiles glared at Bean, wondering what the crazy duck was talking about. "What ox?"

"That one," Bean replied, pointing behind Mephiles. The Dark turned around and saw the biggest ox in the world. Seriously, if this ox was a human, other humans would have elected him the Governor of California. And the ox was certainly not pleased at having been called a moron.

Mephiles quickly turned and darted into the woods, Arnold Swartzenoxxer hot on his heels. Bean watched the two of them go and shrugged. He yanked up some moss and found enough earthworms to fill up both his bowl and the bowl Mephiles had abandoned when the Oxinator started trying to gore him.

To help pass the time, Bean continued his song. "He asked me if I wanted more, as he dialed up his buddy at the ol' pet store. I said not today, I lost my appetite, there's two cats in my belly an' their havin' a fight. was eatin' a tongue and a liver or two when I thought I heard it mew. And that is when I knew…"

* * *

Amy was very nervous about having to touch icky earthworms. So naturally, she was following Sonic and refusing to get less than five inches away from him.

It made earthworm digging extremely difficult for the cobalt blue hedgehog; particularly because whenever some small, crawling thing ran by, Amy shrieked and literally climbed up his back.

It is not very easy to look for earthworms with a *WARNING! NEVER GIVE A GIRL'S WEIGHT ON THE INTERNET* pound hedgehog jabbing her knee into your upper rib cage and dislocating your lungs. Sonic said as much.

So, after that unfortunate little incident, Sonic was now trying to find earthworms through his swollen eyelids and was graciously allowing Amy to use his back as a buffer between her and the icky crawling creatures. He's really quite the gentleman.

But, as it's particularly hard to find earthworms with two swollen eyelids while trying to gently ask your friend to remove her elbow from your spine, as you might need to use it at a later date. So great was his distress that he actually used the 'D' word in his request. You know…D-A-T-E. (As in, 'I might need to use that at a later date'.)

Amy squealed in excitement. "A DATE! YOU LOVE ME! I LOVE YOU TOO, SONIC! OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU!"

Sonic was both horrified and intrigued. He was horrified at the thought of Amy actually thinking he loved her, or even remotely liked her. And he was intrigued as to how Amy had turned a request to move her elbow into a marriage proposal.

But, Amy's ability to hear only what she wants to hear is part of the reason we all love her. Except Sonic. As previously stated, he doesn't like her all that much.

"And you'll love our house!" Amy replied. "Just think, a mere million dollars between us and a debt-free existence."

"What house?" Sonic spluttered.

"The one I bought with your credit card, silly," Amy giggled.

"I don't have a credit card!" Sonic shrieked.

"Oh, I got you one!" Amy squealed. "It was easy. All they needed was your name, date of birth, and social security number."

"HOW'D YOU GET MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!"

"I got it because I love you, of course," Amy said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Did I state that Sonic didn't like Amy very much? I was right.

* * *

Scourge and Ix found a small worm colony. (No, not the worms you need to drink the yucky medicine to get rid of. Earthworms. Geez, what's wrong with you sickos, anyway?)

* * *

Shadow got back to camp, his bowl of earthworms tucked under his arm. As expected, Espio had gotten there first. But unfortunately, Shadow was the last one there. Sonic and Amy were there, arguing over whether or not they were having a marital dispute for some reason, and neither of them had any earthworms.

Mephiles hadn't caught any worms, either, but Bean had filled his bowl up for him. So the Villains won.

"Heroes, we'll see you at elimination campfire tonight. But Villains—your challenge is not yet over! I have in my hand four checks for 10,000 rings. You will all get the money right now _if_ every member of your team eats his entire bowl of worms. Without milk. What'll it be?"

"Ten thousand rings for eating earthworms?" Scourge asked. "What the heck. I've done more deplorable things for money."

"To echidnas, earthworms are a delicacy," Ix said matter-of-factly.

Mephiles gave a slight nod to indicate his willingness.

"EAT THEM?" Bean gasped. "But…but what if one of the worms is a Daddy worm? Like this one?" He grabbed one of his earthworms and dangled it in midair. "It could have a baby worm waiting for it." He took both ends of the worm and pulled it apart. His eyes widened as he looked at the two pieces of earthworm in either hand and then he chuckled nervously. "Look, kid!" he yelled. "Two daddies!"

"Would you stop being a idiot?" Mephiles asked.

"Eat the worms so we can get the money!" Scourge snapped.

"NOOOO!" Bean shrieked, grabbing all the bowls and flinging them into the woods. "BE FREE, BROTHER WORMS!"

"So, I take it that's a no then," Chris said, ripping up the checks. "Heroes, see you at the elimination round."

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Amy's POV

"The bad news is, we lost the challenge. The good news is, I'm going to marry Sonic!"

Sonic's POV

"Marry Amy? Nuh-uh. No. Never in a million years. Nope."

Scourge's POV

"Bean just cost me 10,000. His days are numbered. Again."

Bean's POV

"There's a cat in the kettle in the peking room, the place I eat every day at noon. They can feed ya cat and you'll never know, once they wrap it up in dough. Oh, they fry it real crisp in dough."

Baby Earthworm's POV

"Daddy?"

* * *

We now take you to the Elimination Campfire, right after Chris finished explaining the rules. He took the first marshmallow.

"Shadow."

Shadow smirked and grabbed it.

"Espio."

Espio nodded slightly and took his marshmallow.

"Amy."

Amy squealed with glee and grabbed a marshmallow.

"One marshmallow. Two campers."

"We know already! Just get on with it!" Sonic ordered, as Tails wiggled his peanut-butter covered toes with contentment.

"Sonic."

Sonic somehow had gotten the marshmallow in his mouth _before_ Chris had called his name.

"Tails, the campers have spoken. You must—"

Tails laughed and jumped into the newly refurbished Boat of Losers. It took him all the way back to his workshop, where he walked in and instantly regained his sanity. He's currently wondering why there's peanut butter on his toes, but I digress.

* * *

Back at the Island, Chef and Chris were conversing with each other after the rest of the campers were asleep.

"One good thing is, that loser Mario didn't show up," Chef said. "I think the punk's finally figured out that we don't want him on—"

He stopped abruptly as he saw a portly plumber in overalls in the middle of the path, a bowl of earthworms in his hands and several of them hanging out of his mouth.

"Mm-mm," Mario said. "Tastes like-a spaghetti!"

"YOU FOOL! GET OFF THIS ISLAND!" Chef screamed, and he and Mario disappeared into the night.

* * *

 **RR, please!**


	11. Chapter 11

**As previously stated, I don't really do romance. But I can do unrequited love—especially if those who have been struck by Cupid's arrow make total morons of themselves. So behold! I give you the most bizarre love triangle ever devised! Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic, Mario, Total Drama Island, the Goggywoggles, or the Knights of King Arthur's Round Table.**

* * *

The next day everyone showed up at the sound of the bugle call to see the strangest site—Chef with a packed suitcase getting ready to board the Boat of Shame.

"Where's Chef going?" Shadow asked.

"He's going on a three-day vacation," Chris replied, as Chef got in the boat eagerly. "But don't worry. I got some extra help so we won't fall behind in production."

Three beings climbed out of the boat, the last one tripping and knocking the others over.

"OW!"

"Get off of me!"

"I can't feel my servo motors!"

Finally, the three of them managed to disentangle themselves and they walked over to Chris.

"Campers, say hello to Metal Knuckles, Shadow Android, and Metal Sonic."

"Metal Sonic?" Sonic gasped. "Didn't you drown in the river?"

"One: Robots don't breathe and can't drown, and two: I'm Metal Sonic 2.0," replied Metal Sonic. "Metal Sonic is catchier though, so we usually drop the 2.0 part."

"The Metals and Shadow Android will be cooking the food, setting up the stages, and demeaning themselves in the challenges until Chef comes back," Chris said cheerfully, handing out some clothing items. "Go change into these and meet me back here in five minutes."

* * *

Five minutes later, everyone showed up dressed in medieval armor, save Amy, who had a long medieval dress on. Chris handed everyone paper mache swords.

"From here on in you are to be referred to by your codenames," Chris said. "Sonic, you are King Arthur. Shadow, you are Sir Lancelot. Amy, you are Lady Guinevere. Oh, by the way, you three need to suddenly form an interesting love triangle."

"What?" Shadow asked, his eyes widening.

"No way! Sonic's the only one for me!" Amy huffed.

"EW!" Sonic agreed.

Chris shrugged. "Figure it out. Mephiles, you are Sir Gawain. Ix, you are Sir Galahad. Bean, you're Sir Lamorak. Scourge, you're Sir Percival. And Espio, you're Hanzo Hattori."

"Might I ask why?" Espio—I mean, Hanzo Hattori asked.

"Because I recently finished every story on Samurai Warriors and Hanzo Hattori is my favorite," Chris explained. "And because I say so."

"I see," Espio conceded. At least Hanzo Hattori was a ninja; and it seemed Chris wasn't expecting him to participate in an interesting love triangle, so he was content.

"OK, campers, you medieval Knights—and one Samurai Ninja—must venture into the dark, creepy forest, evade the Goggywoggles, and slay the Giant Dragon. You'll need to work together; but remember: Only the person who actually slays the dragon gets immunity tonight. Not the whole team. And if King Arthur, Sir Lancelot, and Lady Guinevere actually show signs of a interesting love triangle, they will get the chance to win a super secret prize in addition to the 100,000 grand prize. Begin."

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Sonic's—King Arthur's—POV

"A LOVE triangle? What kind of a low-down, dirty, rotten creep does he think I am? He thinks that I would actually _pretend_ to love someone for a secret prize that I don't even know if I want yet? For all I know, it could be a year's supply of fake dog vomit!" His tirade over, he grew thoughtful, thinking of all the things he could do with fake dog vomit. "I _suppose_ I could say I like Amy. The interesting love part can be entirely supplied by her. After all, SEGA's been doing that for years and it always works out swell."

Shadow's—Sir Lancelot's—POV

"This is a perfect opportunity to reveal the fact that I've secretly loved Amy for years. And the best part is, everyone will think that I'm pretending so she'll never ever know." Shadow mused, then his eyes widened as he stared into the camera. "Is that thing on?"

Bean's—Sir Lamorak's—POV

"Love triangle? I love a triangle!" he asked, holding up a small metal triangle. "Her name's Rosy. Isn't she pretty?"

* * *

The challenge had started, and everyone was now in the middle of the woods, trying to make out the confusing directions Chris had etched on a piece of paper for them so they could find the Giant Dragon.

"It says first we have to find the Big Rock and pull out—what is that word?—anyway, we have to pull something out. When we do, the happy singing Wood Elf will appear and tell us how to find the Path of Perpetual Tickle Torture…" Sonic, or King Arthur, stopped and stared at the paper, blinking slowly. "If we survive the Goggywoggles, we'll meet up with the Giant Dragon." He re-read the directions. "Ok, let's do it."

"First we must find a rock with something sticking out of it," Ix—Sir Galahad—replied.

"But we don't even know what it is!" Scourge—Sir Percival—protested. "It could take us hours, or even days, or perhaps years, to—"

"Found it!" cheered Bean—Sir Lamorak. He pointed to a rock that had, of all things, a rubber chicken with its beak jabbed into it.

"O…K…" Muttered Sonic. "So we found the rock. Now where is the happy singing Wood Elf?"

"OVER HERE!"

Everyone looked over to the voice. It was Metal Knuckles, who, oddly enough, was sitting inside a tree trunk, wearing green-red-and-white lederhosen and sporting a pair of earmuffs shaped like Elf ears.

"You're the Wood Elf?" Amy—Lady Guinevere—asked in disbelief.

"Yup!" Metal Knuckles said cheerfully, holding up a plate. "Wanna cookie?"

"Cookies!" Bean cheered, rushing over and grabbing as many as he could possibly carry.

"Which one of you is King Arthur?" Metal Knuckles asked. Everyone instantly pointed at Sonic. "Only King Arthur can pull the rubber chicken Excluckiber out of the stone. And then only if he stands in front of the rock and loudly proclaims the name of his true love to all around. Terrible things will happen if you don't."

Sonic blushed and stood in front of the stone. Feeling extremely foolish, he muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" Metal Knuckles asked, thoroughly enjoying his Sonic tormenting. He should do this more often.

Sonic turned a deeper red and muttered something, slightly louder, but not loud enough to make anything out.

"I can't hear you!" Metal Knuckles yelled.

"I SAID AMY, OK!" Sonic screamed. Amy shrieked and jumped up and down for joy. Sonic moaned and curled up in a semi-fetal position, repeatedly banging his head on the big rock.

"You may now remove the chicken."

Sonic numbly reached up and took the chicken, not pausing his head-bashing for even a second.

"I knew it!" Amy cooed. "I knew it!"

"I hate myself," Sonic muttered. "The things I do for fake dog vomit."

Metal Knuckles snickered, then cleared his throat. "Off you go to the Path of Perpetual Tickle Torture, and the Goggywoggles therein! Oh, anyone want another cookie? I just about to take them out of the oven."

All of a sudden, Metal Knuckles' tree stump burst into flames. As the gang walked off to the Path of Perpetual Tickle Torture, the last they saw of Metal Knuckles was his hurried, screaming panicking as he tried to jump out of the hole in the tree. He only succeeded in getting his head stuck in it.

* * *

"So…is this the Path of Perpetual Tickle Torture?" asked Ix—Sir Galahad. The group was looking down a long path. The trees on either side had grown up and intertwined their branches, forming a long canopy.

And the entire trail was covered with bright, puffy pink feathers taken out of a poodle pillow.

Mephiles'—Sir Gawain's—eyes widened. "Crud," he muttered, and had a severe allergic attack.

Shadow said nothing of Mephiles' sudden outbreak, but gave him a look to show that he approved of it; then he started down the trail, not particularly caring if anyone followed him or not.

Everyone exchanged glances and followed Shadow.

After a few minutes, the crew started to hear a sinister laugh. They all froze. Amy saw something glowing in the bushes and screamed. Everyone jumped as Shadow Android, dressed in a moss-covered outfit, stepped out, shrieking something about brambles piercing his servo motors.

He finally straightened up, cleared his throat, and said, "I am the evil Goggywoggle leader. I challenge your best fighter, Sir Lancelot, to a duel to the finish. If he wins, you may go on your way. If I win, you will be trapped here and tickled for all eternity. Or you can go home and stuff yourselves with cheetos and seven-up and never do anything with your life."

"Yeah!" Bean cheered.

Shadow sighed and stepped forward, unsheathing his paper mache sword. "I accept."

"Fool!" Shadow Android shrieked with laughter. "Don't you know we Goggywoggles are invincible unless you declare your feelings for the one you love the most?" Then his eyes widened. "Uh…did I say that last part aloud?"

Everyone nodded, and Shadow Android sighed. "Crud," he muttered.

Shadow turned to Amy without hesitation; his crimson red eyes seeming to sear into her very soul. He took hold of her hand and kissed it gently. "Amy," he said quietly, in his smooth, deep voice. "I have been hiding the truth for you for many years. It was you who reminded me of my promise, you who saved me; and you who give me a reason to live. I am no longer capable of feeling such a pure emotion as love in great quantities; but all that I am capable of giving I give to you wholly and completely. Your name suits you; for you are a beautiful, fragrant rose in every way. Your beauty and kindness is unrivalled on this earth; there has never been another like you; and there never shall be. I know that one such as I could never hope to be considered worthy enough to receive your love and affection, but Amy…" Shadow's voice seemed to quiver at this next part. "I truly, deeply, love you with every fiber of my being."

At the end of this speech, everyone—including Shadow Android—was staring at Shadow in open-mouthed shock.

Amy finally caught her voice long enough to say, "Wow."

Shadow's extremely unexpected and romantic confession of love had shocked Shadow Android so badly that his gears locked up temporarily. Sonic, who despised romance in any shape or form was the first to awake from his post-confession stupor. "Quick, let's get out of here before he comes to his senses!"

Sonic's voice brought everyone out of their own stupor and they all rushed away from Shadow Android, Chief of the Goggywoggles.

* * *

"Well, now where's this Giant Dragon?" Sonic asked after they escaped from the Goggywoggles. "The note said that we'd find him if we escaped."

The group entered a large clearing that Metal Sonic alone was standing in the middle of.

"So you have survived," he mused. "Only Lady Guinevere holds the key to weakening the Dragon so he may be defeated. She must stand before all and state the name of the one she loves most."

Amy stood in front of everyone, and looked at Sonic, whom she'd had a major crush on for years, and then Shadow, who she'd just found out was dreamily romantic. Both males were silently pleading with her, their eyes telling them the secrets of their hearts.

For deep in both their souls, Sonic and Shadow were both wishing for Amy to choose Shadow as her true love.

Amy stood her ground, biting her lip as she tried desperately to decide who she would choose. Finally, she made her decision and promptly burst into tears.

"I CAN'T HANDLE THIS KIND OF PRESSURE!" she shrieked, turning and running out of the clearing.

"Oh, too bad," Metal Sonic said, beginning to morph. In a few seconds, he had changed into Metal Overlord. "You lose."

Then, before anyone could do anything, Metal Overlord pounced them and swallowed them in one gulp.

* * *

Five minutes later, a large panel in Metal Overlord's stomach opened up and the campers crashed into the campsite, where a grinning Chris awaited them.

"Congratulations," Chris grinned. "You have all been killed and eaten. That means you all lose. I'll see _everyone_ at the elimination campfire tonight."

Suddenly, Amy burst into the campsite, grabbing Sonic and kissing him right on the mouth. Then she dropped him like a rock and kissed Shadow. Then she sighed and walked off.

Sonic spluttered and spit. "Amy cooties!" he yelled in disgust.

Shadow's crimson red eyes had a far-away look to them. "She kissed me," he said happily, a dreamy little grin on his face.

At that instant, Mario burst into the clearing, wearing a funny pointed hat with a feather in it instead of his traditional red cap. This time, however, he was not alone. His brother Luigi was with him, sporting a green pointed hat with a feather, Princess Peach was there too; with a feather in his crown, and so was Toad, who had somehow jabbed a feather into his mushroom-shaped head. In front of this strange crew was a bird with a green cap and feather and a longbow; with a quiver full of toilet plungers.

"It is I, Hooded Robin, and my Mario Men, here to steal from the rich Sheriff of Koopingham and give to the poor Mushroom Folk," the bird stated heroically.

Metal Overlord swallowed them all in one gulp. And this time, he didn't let them out.

"Hey! Who turned out the lights?" Toad's disembodied voice called from Metal Overlord's stomach.

"Hey, Luigi, you got-a any-a can openers-a?"

"I sure-a do, Mario! I always-a come-a prepared!"

Metal Overlord's eyes got big. "Oh, crud!" he yelped, rushing out of site.

* * *

That night at the elimination campfire, Chris started passing out the marshmallows.

"Ix."

"I got called _first!"_ Ix cheered.

"Espio."

Espio wordlessly grabbed a marshmallow.

"Sonic."

Sonic grabbed his marshmallow happily.

"Scourge."

"Got it!" Scourge cheered, waving his marshmallow in the air.

"Shadow."

Shadow grinned and grabbed a marshmallow.

"Mephiles."

"Good."

"Two campers. One marshmallow." Chris raised the marshmallow so both Bean and Amy could see it. "And the last marshmallow goes to…Bean. Amy, the campers have spoken. Hit the road."

Amy's eyes teared up, and she sadly walked the Dock of Shame. Just before she walked to the Boat of Losers, she turned to Sonic and Shadow, who were coincidentally sitting right next to each other.

"I love you!" she called, blowing a kiss. "I'll wait for you, OK?" Then she got on the Boat of Losers and left.

No one could tell who she was talking too. But everyone could tell that both of the hedgehogs who had competed for Amy's attentions that day really, really hoped she was talking to Shadow.

* * *

 **The Goggywoggles are from Get Smart. Maxwell Smart mentions them at times; he states he doesn't sleep with the lights off because, "The Goggywoggles might get me." Hooded Robin and his Mario Men are also not my idea; there is an episode about them on the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. Also, in case you didn't catch it, Metal Knuckles was dressed like a Keebler Elf and I don't own them or their cookie making tree. But it was fun to incorporate that stuff in this chapter. RR, please!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, everybody! Leni-the-hedgie actually went and posted a picture of Tails after he goes insane. You can check it out at art/psychotic-tails-130184874. Today's challenge is brought to you by the suggestion of chrisATD1. Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic, Mario, or Total Drama Island.**

* * *

The next day, the campers awoke to the unpleasant sound of something exploding, which is generally not a good way to wake up. But it did get them to the meeting place in record time.

Chris was waiting for them, grinning as usual, while Metal Sonic was desperately trying to put out the flames in the mess hall, while Metal Knuckles was sobbing next to the prone form of Shadow Android.

"Shadow Android!" Metal Knuckles wailed. "Speak to me! You can't be dead! Speak to me!"

"He'd _better_ not be dead," Metal Sonic murmured darkly. "Because I'm gonna **kill** him."

"What happened?" Ix asked curiously.

"Oh, Shadow Android made spaghetti but forgot to add water, then he mistook a propane tank for a water tank…and the rest is history," Chris said matter-of-factly.

"That's awful," Sonic said.

"Look at that baby _burn to the ground in a_ _ **blazing trail of fire!**_ " Bean cried, his eyes lighting up in a _very_ disturbing manner.

Every gave Bean worried looks and scurried away from him.

"So, now that we're all here, it's time for today's challenge: You must find and cook your own food."

"And just think, the mess hall just _happened_ to burn down today. What a coincidence," Mephiles said darkly. (How else would he say anything?)

Chris just grinned bigger. "You all have 15 minutes to scavenge whatever you think could be edible from the camp and the surrounding area. After which, you must prepare a meal with what you have gathered and eat it in front of me. After which, I will determine which of you gets immunity tonight. Time starts…now."

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Sonic's POV

"This is too cool. I can finally use those rad skills I got from watching Man vs. Wild!"

Scourge's POV

"This will be easy. I'm an expert in survival situations."

Bean's POV

"I bet that explosion marked 8.5 on the Richter scale!"

* * *

Time: 15 minutes remaining…

Sonic rushed into the woods without so much as glancing around the campsite, eager to prove himself a master woodsman.

He saw some moss that looked really gross but by watching episodes of Man vs. Wild he had learned that the grosser something looked, the more protein it had. And the host of the show had assured him that if one got past the gag reflex…it still tasted horrible, but look at all the protein you'd eaten!

Yanking up a huge handful of the unappetizing (and probably poisonous) moss, Sonic rushed off to find other disgusting and protein-filled treats.

* * *

Time: 12 minutes remaining…

Mephiles the Dark knew just where to go in order to forage for food. Caution was necessary; if he was caught he'd be in a lot of trouble. But if he pulled it off, the rewards were more than worth it.

Especially if he could get some extra 'loot.'

The Dark switched to his shadow form, sinking under the boards of his target area and resolidifying himself on the other side…of Chris' personal room.

The Dark smirked as well as he could without an actual mouth when he saw that his suspicions were confirmed: While the campers themselves were barely given the essentials to survive with, Chris was in here living like the King of England. The room was lavishly furnished, with a large, king-sized, canopy bed and a crystal vase, and several other nice but unimportant to the plot items.

Mephiles glanced around the room and saw his target: Chris' refrigerator.

Calmly walking over to the fridge, he opened it and his eyes widened as he saw the massive amounts of food it contained. Chris ate better in one meal than the whole continent of Asia ate in one year!

With all that food in there, it was only fair for Chris to share. Sharing was very important, as Mephiles had learned as a young lad. That's why he was constantly on the lookout for people with things he wanted, so he could 'share' it with them.

Mephiles grabbed as much as he could carry and left the room…but not without purposely kicking Chris' vase and watching the priceless item smash into millions of itty bitty priceless pieces.

* * *

Time: 8 minutes left.

Scourge had spent a good deal of his life scavenging for food, so he stayed around the camp, where food was sure to be found.

The most logical place to look was around the now-demolished kitchen, because perhaps some food had managed to survive…although Shadow Android might not have.

Scourge cautiously walked to the wreckage, seeing that Metal Sonic was still attempting to put out some brush fires, and that Shadow Android still wasn't moving, and that Metal Knuckles was still pleading with the other robot not to go into the light.

Scourge rolled his eyes and started to look through the rubble for anything still edible. It was slow going, but it was the best bet at finding food.

Suddenly, Shadow Android screamed and bolted up, getting his foot caught on an empty pail, so—still panicking and not knowing why he awoke on the floor or why Metal Knuckles was the first thing he saw—he swung his foot hard and the pail went sailing through the air, where it conked Metal Sonic on the head.

Metal Sonic yelped and the water hose he had went wild, spraying Metal Knuckles in the face and blinding him. Freaking, Metal Knuckles started to run blindly—right into Shadow Android, knocking them both to the ground.

Finally, the worst of it was over, and the two robots laid stunned on the ground, while Metal Sonic yelled at them in computer code, stomped over, and kicked them both several times, then he walked off, still ranting in computer code. Scourge was thankful; it was too early for that kind of talk, in his opinion.

* * *

Time: 5 minutes left.

Bean was in a wide field, and he ran around and with his arms thrown wide. "The hills are alive, with the sound of music…" he sang cheerfully.

* * *

Time is up!

"OK, campers, stop foraging," Chris ordered. "And cook a meal with the things you have gathered.

Metal Sonic, considerably calmer, leaned over and whispered something in Chris' ear.

"And cook it raw," Chris continued, "Because all the cooking implements are out of order."

Everyone looked over to where Metal Knuckles was trying to gather up a bunch of soot and burnt metal, which he shaped in a way that it was easily determined that the mess used to be the stove. Metal Knuckles carefully removed his hands, and the rubble fell back to the ground in a shapeless mass.

Chris cleared his throat to call attention back to him, where it rightfully belonged. "You have five minutes starting now."

* * *

Five Minutes Later…

Everyone showed up with their raw culinary creations, and Chris watched as they tried a bite of their food.

Shadow went first, he had found some nuts and berries, a safe (albeit boring) breakfast that he ate with no troubles.

Ix brought in a bowl of earthworms from the earthworm colony he'd found previously, and he ate them all to the obvious disgust of the group.

Except to comment, "You're still not getting the money," Chris showed no reaction.

Mephiles went next, presenting a five-course meal, plus a desert. Chris recognized the food as the pilfered items from his fridge and instantly disqualified Mephiles, as well as present him with a bill for the priceless vase. (Betcha didn't know there was a price for a priceless vase, did you?)

Bean was next in line, and he, oddly enough, presented Chris with a blowtorch. Luckily, Shadow tackled him before he could impress Chris with his flame eating skills.

Scourge had found a semi-edible hot dog and two pieces of bread, and he gobbled them down with no problems whatsoever.

That left Sonic, who showed up with a rather…impressive little load of items, besides the moss. He had two grubs, a piece of tree bark, and a large round…thing…that looked like animal dung.

"Behold! My protein-rich breakfast," Sonic bragged, picking up the moss, covering it with a large layer of the dung-like substance, and taking a big bite.

Sonic instantly vomited, started convulsing, and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He passed out, his left foot twitching wildly.

Metal Sonic checked Sonic's pulse and announced that it was strong, if not a bit irregular.

Chris grinned and said, "Sonic wins!"

"WHAT!" Everyone cried. (Except Sonic, who was still in a post-poison coma.)

"But he almost killed himself!" Mephiles protested.

"What, are you letting him win because you like him best?" Scourge asked.

"Yes," Chris said with no shame whatsoever. "I'll see the rest of you at elimination campfire."

* * *

That night…

"You all know the rules," Chris said, finally admitting that they did, in fact, know them. "First name called is…Shadow."

Shadow took the first marshmallow.

"Scourge."

Scourge grabbed a marshmallow.

"Mephiles."

Mephiles also took a marshmallow.

"And now there's only two campers left: Ix and Bean. And according to the voters…"

Ix held his breath as Chris let him sweat. Bean held his hands out and started making shadow puppets with them.

"You're BOTH eliminated!"

Ix's jaw hit the floor. "Are you serious? They voted us _both_ off?"

"Yep!"

Bean jumped up, grabbed Ix, and tossed him into the Boat of Losers, jumping in after him and yelling, "COWABUNGA!"

"AUGH!" Ix screamed as Bean landed on his lower back.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mario was unable to get to the island today because Bowser had decided to kidnap Peach, and he and Luigi had to go save her.

But even during a battle to the finish, Mario had that grand prize on his mind, and for the first time in his life, he actually called a TIMEOUT during a battle to the finish.

Bowser was so surprised that he stopped attacking. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I gotta finish-a this challenge-a," Mario explained, looking for something edible. His gaze fell on a mushroom growing by the wayside, and he plucked it and popped it into his mouth, much to the horror of his nemesis—and his baby brother.

"Mario! What-a I tell you about-a eating-a mushrooms?" Luigi shrieked, grabbing his hat. "You know-a you're allergic!"

Mario's body began to swell bigger and bigger, and finally he got so big he fell, landing on his stomach. As he _happened_ to be at the top of a hill, he started rolling towards a terrified Bowser and Luigi. (Start humming Indiana Jones music now, if you please.)

"Mario!" Luigi yelled. "You're a-gonna squish-a us flat-a now!"

"Crud, not again!" Bowser yelled.

Although they ran valiantly, Mario was soon spinning faster than they were running, and he eventually rolled over them, and the two of them got embedded in his rolling mounds of swelled-up stomach.

"I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!" Bowser screamed.

Luigi looked up and noticed a pair of car keys. "Hey, I've-a been lookin' for-a that," he mused. "Now I can-a stop taking-a those warp-a pipes-a."

Finally, after nearly an eternity of rolling, Mario finally came to a halt. Toad paramedics rushed to the scene, looked at the embedded Bowser and Luigi, and _tsked, tsked._

"Mario ate another mushroom," one of the paramedics said. "Go set up the Jaws of Life."

Mario shuddered visibly. "Not again-a," he whimpered.

* * *

 **NOTE: LAST CALL FOR CHALLENGE IDEAS! I have room for one (1) more challenge idea. If you have any ideas, now's the time to tell me about it. After this final idea, I will no longer be accepting ideas for challenges. RR, please.**


	13. Chapter 13

**This last reviewer challenge is a combination of the suggestions of chrisATD1 and Nine Spines the Porcupine. Thanx to everyone who gave suggestions, because without them I never would have been able to get this far. After this, there will be two more chapters. That means we're almost done! Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic, Total Drama Island, or Mario Kart.**

* * *

Everyone thought that they could deal with anything Chris could throw at them. But nobody thought that Chris would wake them up in the middle of the night to watch _Monsters vs. Aliens_.

"What is the point to this again?" Shadow asked, stifling a yawn.

Scourge was so tired he fell asleep on his feet; but don't worry. Metal Knuckles was there to wake him by putting a air horn to his ear and pushing the button.

 _WHONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKK!_

"AUGH!" Scourge screamed, jumping up.

Metal Knuckles grinned and looked at his horn. "I _love_ this thing!" he said.

After the movie was over, Chris appeared out of nowhere, his customary big smile plastered all over his smug face. "It's time for today's challenge! You are the evil aliens, bent on global domination, but in order to do so, you have to destroy the monsters—generously being played by Metal Sonic, Shadow Android, and Metal Knuckles. The first alien to reach them and destroy one gets immunity tonight. Oh, and don't forget your monster buster mobiles."

Chris nodded towards three go-karts. "Oh, and don't forget to level them up with weapons," he added, and everyone saw a Mario Kart style trail full of ? blocks.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," Mephiles muttered.

"Why isn't Sonic here and participating?" Scourge asked.

"He's busy," Chris explained.

* * *

 _Night camera zooms to Sonic, who's awake but still feeling the effects of his protein-rich meal. He's stumbling around in the dark, stubbing his toe on a coffee table that's just sitting in the middle of the woods for some strange reason, and finally, the full effects of the meal hit his system._

 _Sonic's fur darkens and gets shabby, his teeth get sharper, his arms get thicker and clawed, and his shoes get spiked. He screams during the transformation, and finally, he completes the change and becomes a werehog. During a challenge to hunt down and kill monstrous creatures. This does not bode well._

* * *

*Toilet Cam*

Mephiles' POV

"While the idea is pretty stupid, I think it's about time we got into random acts of violence."

Scourge's POV

"Why are we ripping off ideas from the Mario series in this challenge? I thought we didn't want Mario on this island!"

Shadow's POV

"Get that camera out of my face."

Mario's POV

"Hey! What-a you think-a you're doing-a, a-stealing my-a ideas-a?"

Bowser's POV

"Actually, riding go-karts while picking up random objects and throwing them at people was my idea. But does anyone thank me? NOOOOOOOOO. Nobody ever thanks the bad guy. What am I, chopped liver?"

Were-Sonic's POV

 _Were-Sonic peeks into the outhouse to make sure nobody's in there and quickly locks the door. He looks into the camera and grins._ "Whew! I'm gonna stay here awhile. I don't want to scare anybody."

* * *

"On your mark, get set, GO!" Chris called, and the three participating campers zoomed off the starting line, racing each other to get to the monster first.

Shadow took an early lead, as he was familiar with vehicles because of his Shadow the Hedgehog game. However, when they went through the first line of ? blocks, Scourge got one of those blue spiky shells with little wings that go right to the guy in front and blow him up.

Scourge grinned, then tossed the shell in the air, where it flew to Shadow and blew his go-kart ten feet in the air. Other than give a startled cry, neither Shadow nor his go-kart were harmed. Because that's the way it works in video games and cheesy crossovers.

Shadow's distraction at being blown up caused him to let go of his own item, one of those _stupid_ green shells that are 69 % more likely to hit you than your opponents. So of course, the stupid green shell bounced off a tree and hit Shadow's cart again.

Mephiles and Scourge passed him and left him in the dust. Shadow growled and floored his go-kart as the trio started towards a narrow bridge with no safety rails.

Mephiles, who was slightly behind Scourge, rammed the green hedgehog, who lost control of his vehicle and fell off the bridge into a bottomless chasm. But of course, he was uninjured, and Big the Cat appeared at the top of the TV screen and fished him out.

"What the hey?" Scourge asked, as Big floated out of view. But as the green hedgehog could see Shadow was now ahead of him and was catching up to Mephiles, Scourge floored it and forgot all about the weirdness of what had just happened.

Mephiles looked behind him and threw about three banana peels from the first ? line, as he could see another line coming up. Mephiles rammed into one, realizing too late that it was an upside down ?, and he got blown up. But he and his cart were not hurt.

He was mad, though. "I'm in first place!" Mephiles yelled. "What's a fake ? block doing here?"

He had no more time to ponder this, as Shadow and Scourge passed him, getting real ? blocks.

Scourge used his first, and a giant blooper appeared and squirted ink in Shadow's and Mephiles' eyes.

"AUGH!" Mephiles yelped as his eyes burned. Shadow was so taken aback that he ran off the road and hit a tree as he tried to get ink out of his eyes. Scourge laughed at them.

Finally, Mephiles and Shadow could see again, and they both took off after Scourge. Shadow quickly used his own ? block, and a bolt of lightning came out of the sky and hit Mephiles and Scourge, shrinking them and slowing them down. Shadow zoomed pass them both.

The trio took another turn and found themselves neck-to-neck. What's more, they could see the finish line, with the Metals and Shadow Android, all of them wearing cheesy-looking monster costumes and waiting for them to come beat them up.

They could also see Mario crossing that finish line, whooping, "I'm-a number 1!" and then go on a victory lap.

Mephiles' demeanor darkened as he realized how the fake ? block had appeared, but other than that, they were much too busy trying to get to the finish line to react to Mario being here. Which they all reached at the exact same time, then they literally jumped out of their go-karts and tackled a terrified Metal Knuckles all at the same time, while Shadow Android and Metal Sonic watched indifferently.

"HELP!" Metal Knuckles pleaded.

"Why?" Shadow Android asked.

"We never liked you anyway," Metal Sonic added.

Chris appeared out of nowhere and grinned. "We have a winner! Or should I say, _winners_? You all have immunity tonight!"

"That means Faker's the one who has to leave the island!" Shadow said, looking pleased.

Chris' smile wavered, but he managed to keep it up. "How about that?"

"Let's go kick him off!" Scourge said, extremely excited.

The three of them rushed off to find Sonic and kick him off the island.

* * *

Were-Sonic, meanwhile, chose this rather unfortunate moment to peek out of the outhouse to see if he could make it to his bunk and go to sleep. He looked right—nobody was there. He looked left—nobody was there. He cautiously darted off into the clearing—just as Scourge, Mephiles, and Shadow rushed into view.

The foursome stopped and stared, Were-Sonic extremely embarrassed to find his fellow campers seeing him like this, and everyone else was impressed that this particular werehog costume was so realistic.

"Whoa, Sonic, that's one wicked costume," Scourge said.

"C-costume? O-oh, costume! Yes, of course it's a costume. I couldn't be a real werehog, because that would be silly, ha ha," Were-Sonic said nervously.

"I guess that's why Chris said you were busy and couldn't participate. You were getting ready for this," Mephiles said.

"Yeah, of course!" Were-Sonic agreed, although he had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.

"Get him!" Scourge yelled, and the three of them tackled a startled Were-Sonic and beat him to a pulp before he had time to react. Then they tied him up using his own arms and tossed him in the Boat of Losers.

"Sayonara, Sonic the Hedgehog," Shadow taunted as he floated out of sight.

"Off you go in the Boat of Losers, where you belong!" Scourge added.

"And that costume really looks sort of overdone," Mephiles called as Were-Sonic floated out of sight.

* * *

 **Everyone RR, please.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Here we are with the second to last challenge! Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic, Total Drama Island, or Shadow and Mephiles' cool moves.**

* * *

"It's the second-to-last day here at Total Sonic Island," Chris told the cameras. "And the remaining contestants are eager to start the day and participate in the second-to-last challenge."

The camera zoomed into the mess-tent, which had been hastily constructed after the mess hall broke down.

"You! Cooking guy!" Scourge grabbed Metal Knuckles by his throat and brought him close. "I haven't eaten more than four times since this stupid camp opened! Get me some food, and make it edible!"

"Oh, picky, picky," Metal Knuckles muttered, reaching into a bucket with his bare…err…claws…and scooping up a handful of something that looked like pre-chewed dog food, and flinging it on Scourge's plate. "And I suppose you want ketchup?" Metal Knuckles asked sarcastically.

Scourge glared at him and smeared his 'food' in the peeved robot's face. "Jerk," Scourge muttered, walking off.

"I know I am, but what are you?" Metal Knuckles called after him. Shadow Android sighed and face-palmed himself.

"That's not the way that saying goes," he said.

* * *

After the trio refused to eat breakfast, Chris called them into the clearing. "Today's challenge is a Super Hero showdown. Mephiles, you're the superhero. Shadow, you're the supervillain. And Scourge, you're the unfortunate victim that screams his head of and hopes the hero will rescue him in time. Any questions?"

Shadow raised his hands. "You're running out of ideas, aren't you?" he asked.

"That's for me to know," Chris replied. "Now, Shadow, you must kidnap Scourge and rush into the woods to 'do him in,' Mephiles, you must wait five minutes and then rush into the woods to find him. When you do, you must try to defeat him and save the hostage. Shadow, you try to stop him so the hostage will die. And Scourge, you just sit there and scream like a hostage. And the whole thing will be timed, you will have 20 minutes to complete your objective, Mephiles and Shadow, from the time Mephiles enter the woods, otherwise you lose."

Scourge's eyes suddenly went wide. "You…you mean to win, Shadow actually _has_ to bump me off?"

Chris just grinned at him, while Shadow turned cool, crimson eyes on a suddenly very worried Scourge.

"You…you wouldn't do that…" Scourge whimpered. "You're the good guy!"

"Am I?" Shadow asked creepily, calmly walking towards Scourge.

"I…MEPHILES, HELP!" Scourge screamed as he and Shadow disappeared into the woods. After waiting for the appropriate time, Mephiles took off after them.

* * *

Ten minutes into the competition, Mephiles stumbled into a clearing to see that Shadow had finally caught Scourge and tied him to a tree. The ebony black anti-hero was waiting for Mephiles calmly.

"I've been waiting for you," Shadow said simply.

"That will be a mistake that will cost you your life," Mephiles replied.

"HEY! I'M IN MORTAL PERIL OVER HERE!" Scourge screamed, like a good panicking hostage.

Shadow smirked. "It's not my life that will be lost," he taunted.

"WOULD YOU TWO LOSERS QUIT WITH THE CHEESY TAUNTING AND HELP ME OUT ALREADY!" Scourge screamed.

"Shut up," Mephiles snapped. "We're busy."

Shadow took this momentary distraction to charge up his Chaos Spears and throw them at Mephiles. The Dark instantly preformed a move straight out of the Matrix and jumped between them.

"Not bad," Shadow said, somewhat impressed.

Mephiles smirked, and his body went crystalline. "I haven't even gotten warmed up yet," he replied, a massive sphere of black energy forming in his hands, which he threw at Shadow.

Shadow somersaulted out of the way, but the spheres followed him. Shadow grimaced and continued dodging while Mephiles laughed a very un-heroic laugh, and finally, Shadow realized how to use the spheres to his advantage.

Shadow jumped in front of Scourge, then at the last second, he jumped out of the way. Scourge shrieked a horrifying shriek as the energy spheres smacked him square in the chest.

"HEY!" Scourge screamed, in massive pain. "MEPHILES, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE!"

"Stay out of my way," Mephiles replied, already focusing on Shadow, who spindashed him. Mephiles went to his shadow form and Shadow went right through him. The ebony hedgehog twisted in mid-air and landed gracefully on his feet.

Then, using his video game prowess to the fullest, Shadow reached down and grabbed an RPG that just _happened_ to be lying next to him, took aim and…shot them right Scourge.

Scourge gave an award-winning scream and Mephiles sighed. He powered up his Dark Chaos Lance and shot it right into the rocket. The two exploded on impact, making a very pretty display.

Shadow took Mephiles' distraction and ran to Mephiles, sliding into him and knocking him off his feet.

Without hesitating, Mephiles swept his legs out and knocked Shadow down, and then the two grabbed each other and started to wrestle back and forth.

Suddenly, Metal Knuckles was right there, blowing his air horn in their ears.

"OW!" Shadow and Mephiles cried as one, jumping up and getting ready to maul Metal Knuckles. Chris was there to stop them, however.

"The twenty minutes are up," Chris said. "And the winner is Scourge, as he is the only one to finish his objective. So, Scourge, who are you kicking off the island?"

Scourge looked at the two powerful beings and gulped. He would probably die no matter who he picked, as the furious loser would kill him dead. Unless…

"The first person who gets over here and unties me stays!"

Chris and Metal Knuckles, knowing full well what this meant, quickly vacated the area as Shadow and Mephiles glared at each other, each daring the other to make a break to untie Scourge.

Shadow rushed for Scourge first, and Mephiles quickly created two misshapen clones of himself, who intercepted Shadow and attacked him while Mephiles calmly walked over to Scourge.

Shadow saw him, however, and ducking under a blow, he grabbed one Mephiles clone and tossed it into the other, then he pulled out his trusty .9 mm handgun and shot Mephiles in the head.

Mephiles showed no damage, because if you played the Sonic game with him in it, you remember he stood still at Wave Ocean and let Omega shoot him multiple times. However, the shot caused him to pause, which gave Shadow enough time to spin dash him again.

The two tussled with each other again and eventually rolled over a cliff. (It just so happened to be the same cliff used in the jumping challenge on Total Drama Island, if you recall.)

Scourge sighed in discouragement. "Oh, great. Now I'll _never_ get untied," he said.

In an instant, Mephiles' shadowy form appeared at the top of the cliff, and he morphed back to his second form, while Shadow himself appeared in what was obviously the aftermath of a Chaos Control.

The two looked at each other, silently agreeing to a race, and then they took off.

Almost instantly, Mephiles cheated by creating two more warped clones of himself, who tackled Shadow and made sure he couldn't go for his gun this time.

While Shadow was thus engaged, Mephiles calmly reached over and sliced Scourge's rope, silently declaring himself to be the winner of this little match.

Scourge sighed and brushed pieces of ruined rope off of his body. "Sorry, Shadow," he said apologetically. "Mephiles won. I guess you're the one who's leaving the island."

"That won't be necessary," Chris replied, as the Boat of Losers docked. "Shadow's not going anywhere, because he's part of the final challenge."

All three of them gave Chris blank looks. The looks changed into bewilderment as Amy, Knuckles, Silver, Vector, Sonic (Still in his werehog form, unfortunately) Eggman, Black Doom, Ix, Bean, Tails (with several small technological items attached to a belt buckle for sanity security) Ix, Metal Sonic (who had been fished out of the river and fixed), and Fang.

"You see before you all the losers of Total Sonic Island. Uh, Shadow…take your place," Chris ordered.

Shadow sighed and went to stand with the other losers.

"As I was saying, these losers are very unhappy at having being kicked off, and they sort of resent you two for still being here," Chris said. "But you are going to have to change their minds if you want to win. Each loser will create a small challenge for you, and will write the name of the one who impresses him/her the most during it. The person who has the most pieces of paper with his name on it at the end of the last challenge will win the 100,000 ring grand prize. The other will be the last loser of Total Sonic Island. Have fun."

With that, Chris walked away, and Scourge and Mephiles looked over to the 13 angry losers who were glaring at them, or worse—giving them wicked, 'wait until I get you' smiles. Scourge gulped nervously and Mephiles looked slightly unnerved.

This last challenge was _not_ going to be very much fun for them.

* * *

 **Who is going to win? What could the losers have in store for them? You'll have to stay tuned to find out! RR, please.**


	15. Chapter 15

**And here we go. Several weeks and 85 pages after the story started, I finish it. Huzzah. Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic, Total Drama Island, or Mario.**

* * *

"OK, contestants, the challenges will be set up by the losers. Fang will go first and Shadow will be last, with all the others in between getting you to do their challenge in the order that they were kicked off the island. Ready?" Chris grinned as he finished the instructions. "Begin."

* * *

The first challenge was set up by Fang the Sniper, and surprisingly, it had nothing to do with guns. Instead, the weasel handed each of them a baseball bat.

"Now, here's what you blokes do," he said. "You put the bat on the ground with the smallest end in the air, like so—" he showed them the proper way to do it. "Then you put your forehead in the middle of the end stickin' in the air, then you run around in a circle without lifting either your head or your bat. Circle 20 times, then get up and run to that tree over there. The first one who makes it wins. Ready? GO!"

Scourge and Mephiles obediently ran 20 times in a circle with their heads on the bats, then they started to run. But all those circles had made them extremely dizzy, and Scourge instantly started running the wrong way and charged into the mess tent, knocking it down while Shadow Android screamed very unpleasant things at him. Mephiles shook his head as if to clear it, then took two steps forwards and collapsed.

Fang was laughing like there was no tomorrow. "Now, _that's_ funny. Too bad you didn't make it to the tree, but I already know who I'm voting for." He took his paper, scrawled a name on it, and put it in the voting box.

Meanwhile, Scourge and Mephiles cleared their heads and went to their next challenge.

* * *

Vector was in charge of the next challenge, but he was listening to those blasted headphones and didn't see them. After a few minutes of Mephiles and Scourge yelling at him to get his attention, he started miming holding a guitar and yelled, "GUITAR SOLO!"

The two stopped and stared at him, and Vector looked right at the two of them and snapped, "I said, GUITAR SOLO! On the double, move!"

Scourge finally realized that Vector's challenge was for them to do an air guitar solo, so he obediently pretended to play a guitar. Mephiles closed his eyes, sighed loudly, and did the same.

"Now bring her home!" Vector ordered. Scourge quickly dropped to his knees and pretended to play the lower frets; Mephiles had no idea what 'bring her home' meant, and did nothing.

"Well…you tried, anyway," Vector finally conceded, writing a name on a piece of paper and dropping it into the voting box. Then the duo were off to their next challenge.

* * *

Silver's challenge was next. He held up three boxes. "Pick a box, both of you."

Both Scourge and Mephiles picked a box.

"Open your boxes," Silver continued, and they did so.

Scourge's box held scissors. Mephiles' box has a rock.

"Rock smashes scissors, Mephiles wins," Silver said matter-of-factly, writing a name and putting it in the voting box.

Both Scourge and Mephiles thought that this particular challenge was pretty lame, but they wisely decided not to voice their opinions and went to the next challenge.

* * *

Black Doom's challenge was simultaneously difficult and sad. Difficult, because they were supposed to record Shadow the Hedgehog admitting he was Black Doom's son. Sad, because they were supposed to record Shadow the Hedgehog admitting he was Black Doom's son.

Of course, Shadow wasn't very happy when he learned what their mission was. So, here they were, Mephiles holding Shadow down by the neck while the ebony-furred hedgehog kept yelling, "I am NOT Black Doom's son!" over and over.

Scourge got an idea. He recorded Shadow denying his kinship to Black Doom, rushed away, and listened to what he'd recorded, hitting the record button again just as Shadow was about to say 'not' on the tape. Then he took his prize to Black Doom, who was thrilled to hear Shadow saying, "I am…Black Doom's son!"

"I knew he'd come to his senses!" Black Doom cheered, writing a name on a piece of paper and putting it in the voting box.

* * *

Knuckles, showing a humorous side that he rarely showed anyone and which Scourge and Mephiles hated instantly, ordered them to do the Hokey Pokey.

"You put your left arm in," the Echidna sang, thoroughly enjoying himself as he forced the two contestants to go through the motions. "You put your left arm out…you put your left arm in, and you shake it all about. Do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about!" Then he grinned evilly and sang, "Put your rear end in…"

Both Scourge and Mephiles decided then and there that they hated Knuckles' guts and that they'd make him pay for this very, very painfully later on. But finally, this particular humiliation was over, and Knuckles wrote a name and put it in the voting box.

* * *

Eggman's challenge was certainly the most fun. He ordered them both to prank Chris.

Eager to participate this particular challenge, Scourge ended up tar and feathering Chris, and Mephiles TP'd Chris' room with honey-coated toilet paper, making sure to leave a honey trail for the hungry red ant colony he'd found.

Eggman decided which prank he liked best, then he wrote a name on a piece of paper and put it in the voting box.

* * *

Bean's challenge was the essence of embarrassment. The duck dragged them in front of everyone on the island and yelled, "EVERYBODY MAMBO!"

Which meant, Mephiles and Scourge had to dance the mambo in front of everyone on the island. That was _not_ very conducive to their image as evil, cold-hearted, ruthless criminals; but it was pretty fun to watch.

After Bean had them dancing the Mambo for two hours straight, Bean finally wrote a name down and put it in the voting box. The two villains sighed and happily rushed away from Bean.

Suddenly Mephiles' eyes widened. "Hey, didn't Bean get kicked off _twice_?"

Scourge's jaw dropped as he realized this was true. "NOOOOO!" He screamed.

* * *

Metal Sonic was next. He had them breath on a spoon and stick it to their nose. Then he voted for whoever he wanted and sent them on their way.

Tails wanted them to disarm a bomb. A real bomb.

Scourge and Mephiles didn't know how to disarm a bomb.

"Cut the red wire. It's always the red wire," Scourge informed Mephiles, who was inside the bomb, staring at its guts at the moment.

"There are ten red wires! Which one?"

"How should I know? Just don't cut the blue one!"

"You mean this blue one?" Mephiles yanked the blue wire out, and the bomb started to beep. Then it exploded.

The two villains looked at Tails rather sheepishly as the now soot-black fox glared at them, wrote something on a piece of paper, and put it in the voting box.

* * *

Amy handed each of them a letter. "Deliver these to my one true love," she ordered.

"Which one is that?" Scourge asked.

Amy glared and brought out her Piko Piko hammer. "Don't talk like that to me!" she warned. "You were both there when I confessed my love to him on the dock!"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"GO!" Amy shrieked, swinging her Piko Piko hammer wildly and chasing the two villains away.

"Now what?" Scourge asked Mephiles. The Dark shrugged. "You deliver yours to Sonic, I'll deliver mine to Shadow. We both have an equal chance of getting it right."

Scourge sighed, walked over to Sonic, and handed him the letter.

"What's this?" Sonic asked, reading the letter. He got a horrified look on his face and dropped it like it carried a disease. "OH, NO!" He screamed, running into the woods.

Shadow's reaction, when getting his letter, was entirely different. He got a dopey, lovesick grin on his face, and he sighed. "She loves me," he muttered. Then he started dancing and singing, "When She Loved Me," in front of everyone.

Amy was frowning as the two contestants came back to her. "Well, at least _one_ of you were paying attention," she muttered, writing something down and putting it in the voting box.

* * *

Ix and Bean were next. The two were grinning as the unhappy contestants walked over to them.

"Get in front of everybody," Bean started.

"And sing 'Cottleston pie,'" Ix continued.

"You know, the song Winnie the Pooh sings when he doesn't know the answer to something?" Bean added.

"You each sing one verse!" Ix finished.

Scourge looked like he was about to cry, but he obediently got in front of everyone and sang.

"Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie

A fly can't bird but a bird can fly

Ask me a riddle and I reply

Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie."

Then, it was Mephiles' turn.

"Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie

A fish can't whistle and neither can I

Ask me a riddle and I reply

Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie."

Then, both of them walked off, their faces pink as everyone snickered at them.

* * *

Were-Sonic had them run all throughout the camp to find couple of AA batteries. When they brought him some, he simply said, "Lick it."

Scourge gave him a mean glare, then he reached out and licked the end of the battery. "Ouch!" he yelped, as the current shocked him.

Sonic snickered. "You too, Mephiles," he ordered.

Mephiles muttered something under his breath, then he, too, licked the battery. He yelped as he, too, was shocked.

Sonic chuckled, wrote something on a piece of paper, and put it in the voting box.

* * *

"Run around the camp screeching like monkeys," was Shadow's challenge.

* * *

Finally, the embarrassing challenges were over and Chris tallied the votes. He then turned to the two finalists and grinned.

"By a unanimous decision," Chris started. "The winner of Total Sonic Island is…Mario!"

Both villain's jaws dropped as Mario swung out of the jungle on a rope, yelling like Tarzan and grabbing the suitcase full of rings.

"I told-a you I would-a win-a the prize-a!" Mario called as he swung out of sight.

"You mean we did all that for nothing!" Scourge yelled.

"Yeah," Shadow said. "We hate both your guts!"

"Hey," Amy called, looking around. "What happened to Espio?"

"Who?" Vector asked.

"The chameleon," Mephiles snapped.

"Oh," Fang looked thoughtful. "Didn't he die?"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the woods, Mario eagerly hugged his prize of 100,000 rings. The fact that there was nothing he could do with rings meant nothing to him.

Suddenly, a Kunai sliced through the handle of the suitcase, and it was yanked out of Mario's hand and suspended by the Kunai to a tree.

"What the heck-a?" Mario yelped, as Espio appeared in front of him.

"Give me that suitcase," the ninja ordered.

"You said-a you weren't-a in it for-a the prize!" Mario accused. "You said-a you were in-a it for-a worthy challenges-a!"

"There _were_ no worthy challenges," Espio explained. "And since you all wasted my time, you owe me. So I will be taking this."

"You can't-a have it!" Mario yelled. "I won-a it fair and-a square! You'll have-a to pry-a it from-a my cold, dead-a hands-a!"

Espio nodded, agreeing with these terms. "As you wish," he conceded.

Mario's eyes widened as the ninja advanced on him. "No wait!" he begged. "It-a was a joke-a! Go away-a! AUGH-A!"

I suppose I could stick around and tell you what happened to Mario and Espio. But hey, I was just supposed to tell you who won the darned thing. Telling you what happened after that isn't part of my job description.

 **THE END**


End file.
